It was a big year for WTF, apparently. Looking at you, Kellogg’s.
1. This dead-eyed Kellogg’s kid who has been haunting nightmares for the last century.
I’m so sorry, J.C. Leyendecker, you’re my illustration hero, but like, no.
2. This ad that urges boys to grow mushrooms in discreet places for money, for some reason.
3. This story entitled “Women Don’t Understand Things” in Good Housekeeping Magazine.
What a gorgeous woman. Too bad she doesn’t understand things!
4. This ad that proclaims the wonders of DIY taxidermy, “which has long been kept a secret.”
Finally, those bastards at the Evil Taxidermy Guild have released their secrets to the public! At long last, we can all reap the benefits of at-home taxidermy!!
5. This dictionary ad that contains “puzzling war words.”
Contraband? Belligerent? Blockade? Transylvania?! Puzzling indeed!
6. This extremely un-appetizing baked potato.
I’m gonna pass on shaking that “glad hand,” but thanks.
7. This freckle-hating company.
Uhh, just rude.
8. This adorable tyke playing with a saw, while his proud father looks on.
“Son, it’s your third birthday. You must prove you’re worthy of this family. Start sawing. Not my leg, son.”
9. This very urgent plea to buy a “Vital Book Private Lessons on Sex Force the Vital Power”…whatever that means.
OK, OK! It’s vital! I get it!
10. Also, this:
I mean, this book seems less weird than the other one, tbh.
11. This beer company whose target demographic is motorists.
For when you’re, you know, just driving around in your car with no roof.
12. This cure-all elixir called “SA-TAN-IC,” that “brings mental sunshine.”
“SA-TAN-IC makes you ‘sunny’,” eh? “SA-TAN-IC ‘for all the world,’” you say? Sign me up!!
13. This terrifying electrical treatment meant to make young children grow taller.
Why bother waiting for your son to hit that growth spurt? There’s always electricity!
14. This little boy who’s super excited to go the dentist to get his new teeth.
Alright, to be fair, a full set of teeth for $3 is a great deal. I’ll give Dr. Leslie that.
15. This very high-stakes word game.
Well, sure, back then bread only cost a nickel, and a horse only cost an ‘a’ and an ‘o’.
16. This vibrator…that even a child can use?
Or help you use??
17. These creepy-ass babies showering in the talcum powder of a disembodied hand.
It’s common knowledge that zombie babies love talcum powder!
18. This corset that supposedly provides “great relief.”
Somehow, I highly doubt that.