Wednesday , 29 March 2017

19 Lies Your Parents Probably Told You

Your parents lied to you, now let them know they lied to you and tell them their lies are bad and they should feel bad.

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Going to college is an automatic golden ticket to success

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It’s actually a one way ticket to an unpaid internship…or a very underpaid job.

Enjoy high school; it’s the best years of your life.

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False. College is like high school–minus the curfews, but with the parties.

Coffee stunts your growth.

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That’s okay, i’ll just drink six Cokes instead.

You need to learn cursive so you can write like an adult.

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Besides the scribble I call my signature, I have not once used cursive during my adult life. It’s not even taught in most schools anymore!

You’ll Get Sick If you Go Out with Wet Hair

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Though it certainly won’t help, you technically get colds from other people. So unless you plan on having a makeout sesh with frozen hair, you’re probably good.

Sitting too close to the TV will make you go blind

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In the age of the internet and iPhones this can never be more false. Besides i’d be more worried about the hours we spent in the dark playing Gameboy with a flashlight.

Don’t go swimming for half an hour after you eat

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Okay, this may be true in SOME cases, but in reality they just didn’t want to deal with us wanting to go to the pool. But that’s fine, we’d probably drown without coffee energy either way.

There’s nowhere to go from here but up!

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This one may be true. But that’s only because your advice has gotten us to the very bottom.

There’s nowhere to go from here but up!

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Unless you’re a politician, athlete, lawyer, businessman…or hey, even teachers these days!

If you cross your eyes too much, they’ll stay like that

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We all tried it out of curiosity, but fortunately it was a bold-faced lie.

Good things come to those who wait

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Yeah, like massive student loans after four years of college.

Everyone’s a winner!

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Our winless little league team begged to differ.

If someone is mean, that just means they like you

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Or it just means that they don’t like you. Basically the same thing.

If you do drugs once, it will ruin your life

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Chances are mom and dad tried them in their younger years. Besides, everyone knows it takes at least two times for your life to be ruined.

The dog went to live on a farm where he’s happy

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We never knew Fido was dead, and we’ve been holding out hope ever since

Everything happens for a reason

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Except most of the time that reason was we were stupid and made a bad decision.

If you are nice to others, they’ll be nice to you

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