Weird

"I once wrote a will for a guy who thought he could get away from giving his ex-wife half his assets by putting them in a will for his kids. Doesn’t work like that, buddy boy."

“My light bulb burnt out in an interesting way.”

"I’m A Hairstylist And By Law Cannot Use Wood Handled Brushes Because They “Can’t Be Sanitized”, But I Can Legally Be Served Food On Wood"

“This bird house is a miniature version of the human house.”

“My Micro Machines bus with the original battery from 1990 still lights up.”

Don't pretend you weren't warned.

"This Figurine Of Hermione Granger At Universal Studios"

"Church In Louisiana"

“Get the good boy some roasted chicken.”

"What’s this device mounted under my office desk?"

She partakes in the purple diet which involves eating purple foods like plums, grapes and eggplant 3 days a week.

“All this packaging for some effing radish seeds! Why tho??”

"This Afternoon I Noticed Him Sneakily Grabbing Some Fishing Nails, So I Followed Him And Caught Him Red-Handed"

"First picture is me at the Mar Rosado En Galerazamba 2 years ago. The next pic is what it looks like in 2021. The final picture is me looking embarrassed because I hyped this place up to my friends, and it was beyond disappointing."