Curious Effects Going Vegan Has On Your Sex Life

I am going to preface this entire post with this – I am not a vegan. I prefer the debauchery of red meat with my 120 proof bourbon. You will have to pry that last stick of bacon from my dead, lifeless, Kung-Fu grip. Ok, now that that’s out of the way… Apparently going vegan can have some substantial effects on your sex life (aside from the life shattering embarrassment). Summer is as good a time as any to start making healthy choices, so if you need some inspiration, check out this quick rundown.

Vegans are known to eat foods very high in zinc such as basil, figs, pine nuts, avocados, almonds, asparagus, celery, pumpkin seeds, chickpeas and banana – or what I like to call, rabbit food. Well it’s not so funny any more because zinc has also been shown to cause a chemical reaction in the body which substantially increases libido.

Yeah, that word is disgusting. There is really no way around that. However, here is some sexy science for you: a vegan diet has been shown to improve the smell and taste of body secretions. There’s that word again…

The slimming effects cause by a vegan diet (cutting out all the fatty meats) can dramatically reshape your body. This not only makes you more attractive to prospective lovers, but makes you more confident about yourself and therefor more eager to get naked (which is a key part of sex I’ve been told).

Not only will you feel better about yourself, but you may also perform better. In a recent study, 64% of participants felt significant increases in their energy and vitality when they switched to a vegan diet. Be the energizer bunny in bed.

Dropping meats and substituting fruits and vegetable in their place is like adding natural moisturizers to your diet. Since plants have a far higher water content, you’ll flush out more toxins and impurities, meaning your skin will be softer and more sensitive. It also means less breakouts. Then again, that’s a fetish now or something, right?

Another byproduct of eating more fruits and vegetables, and in turn ingesting more water, is an increase of natural lubrication. Cutting the meat could mean cutting the KY which means a more personal and passionate experience.

As we all know, meat, red meats in particular, cause damage to our cardiovascular system by clogging arteries and preventing proper blood flow. That very same blood flow is crucial for both sets of bits and pieces to function properly. Better blood flow allows women to climax easier and men to get stronger pumps from their love muscles.

Eating meat often means you’re ingesting hormones and antibiotics that can do all sorts of heinous shit to the chemical balance of your body. Chemical imbalances are frequently tied to mood swings, anxiety, depression and low libido. Cutting the meat out of your diet just might make you a happier person which means more smiles. Not bacon though. No one is happier without bacon. It’s science.

I will disavow any knowledge of recommending this if you ever ask me, but here goes. As a substitute for meat soy can have some fairly serious positive impacts on your sex life. Soy isoflavones have been proven to help prostate health, which is crucial for a man’s sexual health. Without a healthy functioning prostate, your libido and fertility plummet through the floor.

Now that we’re through with that…