We all think our family is the weirdest or has the craziest secrets, but all it takes is a few moments on the internet, or a minute spent watching day time talk shows, and we know there are definitely crazier families out there. These people shared their most NSFW family secrets and your reunion is going to seem a lot tamer after this.
I let my stepsister and her friends see me naked when I was younger for $5. Seeing the other gender nude wasn’t a mouse click away…it was hard work and you wondered about things. And $5? That’s when you could get stuff done for $5.00. That was a couple packs of baseball cards, a slice of pizza with a soda and several games of Donkey Kong or Asteroids Deluxe at the pizza place down the street from my house.
My aunty rang my best mate (who was mowing her lawns during that time) and asked him to fuck her. He declined. It’s good because even though I don’t see her often, she usually slips me 50 bucks. I figure it’s her way of saying STFU.
I walked in on my aunt. Having sex. With someone who’s not my uncle. In my grandma’s bed. At my Grandpa’s funeral.
My uncle is a pimp in Gambia. He’s originally from England. My cousin once went to stay with him, towards the end of his first night there he was told he had a ‘present’ waiting for him in bed. Goes upstairs to find a young lady completely naked lay across the bed. Not sure how long she’d been waiting…..
My uncles new wife was meeting the family for the first time and after a glass of wine she asks if she can be herself, everyone said yes then she asked my then 71 year old grandpa if he sit at home watching porn and jacking off all day
Edit: this was our first time having her at a family function we had met her in passing at their wedding(i know its weird) so no one really knew anything about her, we found out sometime later she had started a brawl at her own wedding after we had departed and my family is no longer welcome at American Legion.
I was housesitting for my grandparents many moons ago, and I had to get a fresh sheet. When I lifted the first one, lo and behold, there was my grandmother’s vibrator.
I kept that secret for years.
When I eventually told my mom about it her only reaction was “your grandfather is impotent.” I was weirded out, but now I just laugh about it.
I skipped school, I used to do it all the time because my Dad worked 7am-5pm most days and was a single father. I was in my room as per norm and he came home early. didn’t wanna get caught so stayed perfectly still. my bedrooms at the top of the stairs, the computer is RIGHT at the base of the stairs.
Dad watches porn for the next hour. i think he heard a squeak cos he stopped to holler up the stairs for me. but didn’t budge. didn’t move. didn’t say anything. just waited….five minutes pass, he’s satisfied. goes back to his business.
never told him. never skipped school again.
My mom chased my teenage brothers around the house inside and out with a dildo once. I had the chance to ask my brother about it later. He was pissed about it at the time, but I was like six? And my mom was laughing so much so I thought everyone was having a good time. Looking back at it, I can see why he was pissed, mom’s dildo Ew, and why she thought it was so funny. Good memories.