Saturday , 25 November 2017

Reasons Summer Sucks For Anyone With Big Boobs

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And face-up means you’re at risk of suffocation by your own boobies.

Two words: Underboob sweat.

Underboob sweat. Literally the bane of your entire existence.

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Trickling-down-your-cleavage sweat: clocking in at a close second.

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And cleavage sweat stains. Sooooo attractive.

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The fact that boob deodorant exists and that, now that you know that, you’re tempted to try it out.


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Moving on. You know when it’s super hot and all you want is to wear light, thin fabrics? They make bras like that!

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Just… Not for you.

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All the teeny-boobed girls around you are in cool strapless clothes. And you just can’t be.

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It’s swimsuit season. So, for you, it’s flash-everyone-at-the-beach-by-mistake season.

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And nope, it looks nowhere near this attractive ^

You get to do that fun thing where you have to buy an XXXXXXXXXXXL bikini top and a medium bottom.

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And if not, you face the dreaded leaking underboob.

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While we’re at the beach: Lying down is IMPOSSIBLE. Face-down means this happens:

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Found an adoooorable summery backless dress? Probably. Found a backless bra that actually works for you?

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And when everyone else is adorable in crop tops, yours get a bit too cropped.

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And unless you look like Beyoncé, it isn’t very fun at all.

Bought a pretty, airy button-down that’s perfect for summer? Haha, no such thing.

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Because in order for it to be public-appropriate, it is now twice as warm.

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You want to wear low cut clothes to keep cool, but the twin girls see it as an invitation to come out and play.

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Also, hi there stretchmarks. Meet the whole damn world.

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These summery Instagrams that everyone else gets to do would be X-rated as hell if you did them.

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In fact, everything you ‘gram all summer should probably come with an Explicit Content label.

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Oh, well. Take solace in the fact that this joy is more delightful now than ever:

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And good luck, ladies. We’re aaaaall in this together.

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