Let the otherworldly Swedish pop goddess guide you through times of darkness.
So you’re having a tough day.
Getting out of bed was a nightmare.
The idea of trudging through another boring-ass morning = MAD BLEAK.
And work/school/general life on Earth is just, like, IMPOSSIBLE right now.
The drabness of it all! UGH.
Well, get ready…because that’s all about to change.
Because today, my friend? You’re going to channel your inner Robyn.
“Hello. Follow me toward spiritual enlightenment/dance floor heaven.”
You’re gonna summon the CRAMAZING space-alien queen inside you and dominate, pop-diva style!
It’s simple, darling! First, just remember you’re a STAR.
You’re light-years ahead of the game, gorgeous.
Then it’s time to get powered the hell UP.
So what if you’re wearing sweatpants because you missed your alarm?
In fact, when you catwalk down the street, people are all…
And for good reason. I mean, you’re basically the flossiest human alive. So WORK.
Whatever the case, do the mere earthlings around you a solid and LET YOUR BODY TALK.
Then recognize that you’re not just a pretty face. You work hard, and the results are AMAZING.
It’s like, do intergalactic dance priestesses get tired? NO. So when you put your mind to something…
You can achieve things no one else believed were possible.
And if anyone tries to stand in your way, just be like,
Because you’re above the pettiness of mere mortals. YOU ARE ROBYN, DAMMIT.
Ya heard, haters?
In closing, take some extra time to love yourself today. Praise your inner celestial empress!
You’re a beautiful, unique creature. A veritable gift to this undeserving world!
And if ever you should start to feel like this…
Just brush your shoulders off and WORK IT OUT as only you know how.
Maybe even hump the floor a little in celebration.
Because congratulations are in order, killer. You’re now officially owning today, Robyn-style.