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If you can’t find a reservation for tonight, you’ve been warned. Maybe you should think twice about making Valentine’s Day dinner yourself.

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These will surely spice things up in the kitchen.

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Thanksgiving only comes once a year and everyone is getting ready to eat an amazing meal. Whether it’s your job to cook a turkey on Thanksgiving or just a pie, you want to make sure you get it right. If you want to make sure you cook something delicious on Thanksgiving, follow these tips and you’ll be all set.

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Cooking rice confounds legions of people, so I am always on the prowl for impossible-to-fail rice recipes. Here are three reliable – and very different – ways to cook rice.

1. Boil it like hell

When I am the first one to come home hungry, I bring a pot of salted water to a boil, throw in a handful of rice and cook it like pasta (i.e., boil it like hell). Then I drain it and eat it almost immediately. I will admit it is not the optimal way to treat a nice cup of rice.

2. Simmer it gently, then let it rest

Rice needs to rest. It needs to relax, luxuriate and reassemble into the perfect grain that it is at its very essence.

In my more organized moments, I turn to the pilaf treatment, where rice is gently cooked in butter with spices and gets a nice rest on the back of the stove while the rest of the dinner is coming together.

For years I have used a pilaf technique from Deborah Madison’s masterful The New Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone. The rice is simmered on top of the stove with spices until most of the liquid is gone, then finished off the heat with a towel snuggled between the pot and the lid. It is a patient, foolproof recipe. It is designed for the dinner party; it can be made hours in advance and fluffed with a gentle reheat whenever you need it.

3. Steam it on a baking sheet in the oven

I have just discovered another treasure from — yes, you guessed it — Yotam Ottolenghi’s latest book, Plenty More. (He is truly unstoppable.)

The recipe is Lemon and Curry Leaf Rice, but don’t let those ingredients scare you off. His technique, while seeming strange, works beautifully. Basmati rice is soaked and then spread on a rimmed baking sheet. Water and spices are brought to a boil, then poured over the rice. A layer of waxed paper is laid directly on top of the rice, a layer of foil on top of that seals it all in and then the pan is popped into the oven. What emerges is perfectly cooked rice redolent of spices. The grains are separate and distinctive. No oil is involved until the end with the final fluffing, and then only if you desire. Essentially perfect.

While his recipe calls for curry leaf, cinnamon, cloves and lemon, you could easily scent the rice with just the lemon, bay leaves, fresh herbs, cardamom or saffron, or simply steam it solo.

Add this one to your collection of master recipes.

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We’re not sure if this is cool or just plain disgusting.

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The bread is the life

You become intimidated by the fact that you’re basically cutting out an entire food group.

You panic when you realise how many foods have carbs in them.

AND DRINKS

But you are mildly scandalised by the concept of being allowed to eat peanut butter and bacon.

You wonder what you’re going to have for breakfast if you can’t have toast or cereal.

You figure pretty much peanut-butter-on-bacon.

Despite this amazing breakfast, for a while you cannot believe how much you miss carbohydrates.

 Everyone around you seems to be eating a croissant wrapped in a pie folded into a GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH.

Dinners out take forever because of your complicated instructions for the waiter (“Burger, no bun, please”).

People at work think you’re weird when you take to carrying nuts and vegetables about your person, much like a squirrel.

After some time, as impossible as it sounds, you even grow tired of peanut butter and bacon (and meat and cheese and eggs).

Briefly you fall into the trap of buying low-carb products in bulk, despite their exorbitant price and the fact that they smell of cat pee.

Then you come to your senses and go online to search for healthy low-carb recipes that actually taste good (and don’t smell like cat pee).

The humble cauliflower starts to blow your mind.

You learn to make egg-fried cauliflower ‘rice’, buttery garlic cauliflower mash, and even cauliflower ‘cous cous’.

And if the pizza aficionados in your life claim that it’s “better than Domino’s” you MAY shed a tear of pride.

Well done, you! You have mastered the dark arts of low-carb!

You’re still kind of annoying in restaurants, though.

And, when you go back to carbs, everyone had better give you a moment alone with your first plate of chips.

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 This is what Hell’s Kitchen really looks like.

It’d be impossible for everyone to be a gourmet chef. Some people specialize in microwaved meals while others are awesome at boiling water and adding noodles. These 21 people, however, are so terrible at cooking they shouldn’t be legally allowed in the kitchen. Just boiling water would be an issue for them.
Their cooking fails are so epic and so terrible, they nearly defy the laws of physics. How did any of this happen?

 I can’t even imagine what they were going for here.

You know it’s bad when this wasn’t meant to be BBQ.

You may get diabetes from just looking at that.

HOW do you make cookie dough do this?!

Mmm. Burned everything.

P.S. That’s now how you cook a pizza.

I hope someone has takeout handy. And a fire extinguisher.

Are those… nachos?

This is so bad, science can’t even explain it.

When cinnamon rolls go bad.

These kind of look edible?

I just feel bad for these cake pops.

When cooking, please avoid burning down the house.

Oops-meal.

Pineapple upside-down-and-exploded cake! Yum!

This is why you shouldn’t boil eggs for hours.

How does one mess up Ramen noodles?

Angry, angry cookie monster…

Pro tip: quesadillas should have more than black beans inside.

This is NOT how you make sticky sushi rice.

When these people cook, this is what happens.

D’oh.

So take pity on those who are cuisine-challenged. It’s not their fault. It’s not a choice. They were born this way… so buy them a box of Pop Tarts and share this article.

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It will make your cooking skills even better.

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Here is a guide to cook the perfect steak like the real man.

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A 31-year-old bonobo (pygmy chimpanzee) Kanzi makes fire and cooks food.

Source

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