Dwight “WERE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!” Howard

Kevin “Soon…” Garnett

Kevin “Let’s pretend I’m not an asshole” Garnett

Mo “This isn’t the right sport” Williams

Derrick “Hear no evil” Rose

Derrick “The Darkest Timeline” Rose

Derrick “Okay, enough with the fucking costumes” Rose

Vladimir “Derrick wouldn’t wear this one, would he?” Radmanovic

Joakim “I’m too hungover for that much noise” Noah

Carlos “I’m aware of ‘Gangnam Style'” Boozer

Kent “I’ve also seen that viral video” Bazemore

Kyrie “Have you guys seen ‘Gangnam Style’ yet? It’s hilarious” Irving

 Mo “This is better… Wait, nope. Still not right” Williams

DeMarcus “You’re making me wait for the photographer to make Jimmer look tough? This is going to be a while” Cousins

Kris “I bet I can hit Joe Johnson in the dick from here” Humphries

Dirk “I’m constipated with an invisible basketball” Nowitzki

Tyler “Read me a story, Gordon” Zeller

Gordon “Okay, Tyler” Haywood

Mo “Seriously guys? It’s basketball. I play basketball” Williams

Tristan “Goober” Thompson

 Marcin “I love being a single parent” Gortat

Kenneth “I think I can kill with these” Faried

Danilo “Am I holding this right?” Gallinari

Quincy “What am I supposed to do?” Miller and Andre “Just look tough” Iguodala

JaVale “I’m gonna dunk them pickaxes” McGee

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