“Staircase in my friend’s apartment block just collapsed.”

“Felt something odd while eating. Then this fell into my food.”

“Man I can’t even get lunch anymore.”

“This why Walmart not open 24hrs no more.”

“Forgot to close the window before getting a carwash.”

“I have been eating moth eggs with my black beans.”

“Came back from vacation and ants built their colony in my laptop.”

“Girlfriends car was vandalized.”

“Made a coffee cheesecake for my sister-in-law’s bday. A mouse decided to sample it as it cooled on the counter….’

“He didn’t secure his load of decking. Only made it 50 yards.”

“Got all the way to checkout before I noticed. They didn’t seem super concerned.”

“My AC unrolls my toilet paper.”

“Was thinking of going bowling soon, until I saw the prices.”

“Heard a “clink” while warming up a breakfast pita for my wife.”

“Got rear ended by an ambulance yesterday.”

“Person running red light hit my brand new car when I was driving home from my first day off from work in 9 days.”

“On my first day in motorcycle school I got stung on my ear by a catterpillar on my helment halfway through the class.”

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