“It tasted SO bad. After dissecting what I can only describe as a putrid rotten ball of glob, I found this string.”

“Was trying to quick heat up food while keeping track of the kids. Kitchen lights were dim because they were watching a movie in the living room.

Wife had cooked ground beef last night and left the extra in a grey bowl with tinfoil over it. Heated up everything and came to sit down and eat. First bite was weird but I was distracted.

Second bite had something crunchy and I spit it out. Turns out the wife had also put the dogs leftover food in an identical grey bowl earlier tonight.”

“Husband spilled expensive red leather dye on his only pair of jeans.”

“That’s just fantastic.”

“Broke college student vs. pot hole, pot hole won.”

“Our closet full of wine decided to take a leap of faith… AT 3 AM!!”

“Size of the burrito chipotle just gave me.”

“Just got off work at 10pm, went to Walmart, came home, tripped and ate shit coming down the outside stairs of my apartment.”

“Wrong pole, wrong time.”

“Some dude ripped my bumper off and left a note.”

“When your sleep gummies get delivered to your neighbor’s house and have been sitting on their porch for 8+ hours in 110° heat.”

“Tried to make ratatouille with the first harvest from my garden….”

“I was flying to Asia by AirArabia through Dubai and they lost my suitcase. I retrieved it 6 days later – covered in something that seemed to be dried, rotting vomit. The smell was unbearable, and inside was crawling with fly larvae… All of my stuff smell like a corpse. Delightful.”

“The neighbour above us has a dog who apparently lets it pee on their balcony which has made it seep down onto our balcony. The floor was just painted last week….”

“A Hornworm ate my entire jalapeño plant in one night.”

“I’ve been in O’Hare for ~17 hours. Just 3 more to go…”

“Just discovered an air intake I’d never noticed. No filter change in 4 years.”

“It’s 3AM… guess who my dog wanted to chase? A skunk. Apparently we have a skunk under our porch We dont have anything to properly clean him and the stench isn’t even enough to keep mosquitoes at bay.”

“My doorhandles are 140° today.”

“Getting home from a terrible shift, why not drop my house keys in a yellow jacket nest?”

“Was away from my apartment for ONE night and I came home to this. Yes it was sewage. Yes it filled the entire kitchen with sediment.”

“My watermelon burst!”

“Throwback to the time I parked my car overnight in a public parking lot and Saturday Market engulfed it. No ticket or tow somehow.”

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