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“Awesome neighbor parks like this every day.”

“I thought this plastic on my new washer was a protective film.”

“Drunk driver crashes into my house I just bought two months ago.”

“Someone threw a manhole cover at my windshield.”

“When your kidney stone tries to kill you AND bankrupt you at the same time”

“Dropped my necklace in my car, it fell thru a seam in the carpet, and then thru this small hole.”

“I’m about three and a half hours into a ten hour shift.”

“Most Painful Thorn I’ve Ever Stepped On In 32 Years, Went Through Shoe.”

“Went to my storage unit for the first time in a year. I have to throw everything out now.”

“Missed a job interview this morning because someone stole my bike’s seat.”

“Lost my job and been struggling to pay bills, and I come back to my car like this.”

“My “flea-free” dog was so happy to see me, his fleas got onto my carpet. A day later, they’ve rapidly multiplied and I’m stranded on my bed.”

“My favorite water bottle was not dishwasher safe (It used to be a gallon).”

“Someone tried to drill my gas tank, they did a poor job.”

“Just broke an heirloom that’s been in the family since 1897.”

“I came to work looking like I pissed my pants because my bike seat was soaked after last night’s rain.”

“Felt something weird in my ear. Flushed it out and saw this guy.”

“Giant piece of asphalt patch stuck to my car like bubblegum. Tire had to be replaced.”

“Neighbor’s house got tp’d.”

“Pizza shop put salt in the parmesan shaker”

“Truck ran into my barbershop this morning while I was cutting a clients hair.”

“I’m traveling so I guess I will just rub a piece on my pit.”

“My rickety attic stairs broke and then 5 minutes later the stairs leading up to my place broke. I was on both.”

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I’ll always remember the following Playboy party joke below.

Question:
What’s the best part about getting HEAD?

Answer:
The conversation.

RIP and THANK YOU
Mr. Hugh Hefner

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