1. “The first step in hypnosis is to relax. So … relax, ya?”

2. “You must clear your mind of all distractions. There are no distractions anymore.”

3. “Take a deep breath. Take another. I’m watching.”

4. “Look into my eyes. You should be getting sleepy. Why aren’t you sleepy?”

5. “You’re looking into my eyes, right? Not my stray feather? IGNORE IT!”

6. “Try concentrating on my utterly fabulous eyelashes. Count them.”

7. “Are you sure you’re really concentrating? I have my doubts.”

8. “OK. We try another approach. Close your eyes, like this.”

9. “No peeking!!”

10. “Count backwards from 10. 10 … 9 … 8 … “

11. “You do know how to count, don’t you?”

12. “C’mon now. You can do it.”

13. “Your eyelids should be getting heavy now. So very heavy … “

14. “Your feet are like lead weights on the floor. Gravity is your master.”

15. “Your breathing is slow and steady, slow and steady.”

16. “You are getting sleepy … so sleepy … “

17. “What do you mean you’re not sleepy?”

18. “You followed my instructions, didn’t you?”

19. “What do you mean, ‘Do I even know what I’m doing?'”

20. “I am a master hypnotist! I am!”

21. “Sure you don’t want to stare into my swirling whirling patterns again?”

22. “Fine. We can call it a day. Just tell everyone I hypnotized you, OK?”

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