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“Well this definitely su**ed waking up to this.”

“I was on the phone with family when my wife tried to move the turkey brine cooler by herself. I heard a crash and saw the turkey scooting across the floor.”

“Misjudged the terrain, it was far from solid. I sunk to my ankles and was left with terracotta glazed shoes.”

“Husband lost his phone at the beach. We tried calling it but it goes straight to voicemail.. he said high tide came right as he was leaving so we are pretty sure it’s in the waves now.
My last text to him was asking if he wanted bagels for breakfast lol.”

“This air freshener wrinkled my car interior.”

“Car just rolled through my front fence and debris destroyed my car (Everyone is ok. Fence not so much.)”

“Club I went to last night decided to put “fake blood” all over the floor… that definitely does not wash out .”

“I bought some gummies from the store..”

Ouch!

“Someone threw a slow cooker through my window last night!”

“I bought these on Monday and have had them put up sealed. I’ve had 3 or 4. My wife had some. After I saw it I started to hurl.”

“My wife had a birthday earlier this week. I didn’t send her this and my name doesn’t start with an A . Already had suspicions for a while of her infidelity but this is the first concrete evidence I have. Happy Holidays everybody.”

“Glass stovetop exploded while cooking Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Behold the Amtrak “Roomette”. Two facing travel seats and one for quality time. Cozy.”

“Didn’t do Thanksgiving on the day of to fit friends’ work schedules. Turkey is ready for “friendsgiving”. One couple canceled. The other said they’d be 4 hours late. It’s now a potluck with a main and no sides.”

“USPS delivered my $340 order to the wrong Zip Code. eBay suspended my account for reporting it, then Support told me they can’t fix the error because I’m suspended.”;

“The piece of pie my gf left for me.”

“Last Thanksgiving we sold through about this much asparagus. So this year we order the same amount. Sold maybe four cases total.”

“Guess we’re not having mac n cheese tonight kids.”

“They forgot to put frosting on our cinnamon rolls.”

“My father forgot about his soda stockpile from Covid, and found this today while cleaning out stuff”

“Pestle broke while making pesto.”

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