“I Blew My Nose. Sorry Sir Won’t Happen Again”

“Patches, Who Has Water Ptsd From Her Previous Ab***ve Owners Dunking Her In The Tub When She Was “Bad” After Nearly A Decade Stayed In The Bathroom While I Ran A Bath”

“I Told Her She Had Tuna Breath And She Promptly Moved To The Wife’s Side Of The Bed To Glare”

“A Stray Dog Passed By”

“After We Applied Ear Drops”

“I Brought My Newborn Home And She Wasn’t Pleased”

“She Heard My Toddler Calling For Her”

“Showed Her A Portrait Of Herself”

“My Cat Gets A Little Intense When She Wants To Play”

“I Spent 2 Years As The Intake Technician At A Shelter In Florida, And My Camera Roll Is A Gold Mine Of Airplane Ears”

“He Was Acting Like A Little Demon. I Didn’t Know Whether To Laugh Or Run”

“I Started Talking To Her In AC/DC Singer Voice”

“I Said His Name”

“Her Son Wanted To Cuddle”

“I Failed My Cat Overlord”

“I Didn’t Let Her Get On The Kitchen Counter While Husband Is Cooking”

“My GF Told Him Pspssps”

“I Dared To Look At Her”

“I Said Hi To My Neighbors Cat”

“Slightly Moved My Leg”

“He Found Me Hungover In The Bath At 5am, I’d Call Him Disappointed But That Would Be A Understatement”

“She Heard My Boyfriend Imitating Her Purrs”

“I Said His Paw Looked Clean”

“Today We Learned About Harnesses”

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