This progression:

These words to live your life by:

The SECOND worst thing you can do:

…which leads to the card the game actually needs:

…but also leads to you becoming a master architect:

This very accurate chart:

This totally impossible suggestion. Catan is WAR:

And trade. Peaceful, peaceful trade.

The loss of your longest road:

WHYYYYYY?

This life-ruining mistake:

When the cards seem to personally hold a grudge against you:

The lies. Oh, the lies:

The foolishness:

THE DESTRUCTION OF FRIENDSHIPS!

OH, THE HUMANITY:

When some entity clearly has it out for you:

This luck:

That ONE friend:

And, finally, what we all wish we could say to whoever thinks two brick for one sheep is a fair trade:

Get outta here with that garbage.

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