This racy request:

Except not really.

This X-rated picture:

 This stunning display of honesty:

This piece of 21st-century romance:

 This trip down memory lane:

This midnight message from the Mike of your dreams:

This transcontinental flirtation:

This steamy collaboration:

This old lady playing hard to get:

This sacred promise:

This beautiful bit of poetry:

This monstrous metaphor:

The “One Second” trick:

This fruity rendezvous:

This touching sentiment:

Anything and everything remotely related to the green god Shrek:

This kinky bit of trivia:

This heartfelt statement of love:

This naughty conversation:

This display of patriotism:

 This arousing image:

This intimate conversation:

This hot exchange:

This careless whisper:

And this affectionate, tear-jerking conversation:

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