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“The ATM at Grand Central ate my debit card.”

“The gym I use threw out a ton of good tennis balls. There is a dog shelter next door”

“The gym I use threw out a ton of good tennis balls. There is a dog shelter next door”

“I paid off my student loans and 4¢ was added to the balance while the payment was processing”

“I just opened this protein powder and this is how much was inside. What a joke. I could get probably 4 scoops out of this.”

“This is not why we got her a phone.”

“An actual text conversation between my my roommate and me after she woke me up at 4AM”

“Hosted a Halloween party and no one showed up”

“Instagram limits unfollowing”

“She ignored me after.”

“Found this posted to our door (in a townhome association) today and we don’t even have a dog.”

“The sizes for my uniform at work”

“Trying to hide your inspection grade”

“The man next to me on my flight today set his phone on my leg without asking while he was digging through his bag.”

“I want to plug these in all the way so bad, but I’m at a hospital and don’t want to start messing with their things”

“I cooked a Thanksgiving meal from scratch for my family, and no one ate it.”

“My neighbor sprayed persistent herbicide into my property, killing my trees and native shrubs.”

“Our neighbor wanted Halloween decorations down on November 1st.”

“The ‘world famous’ cucumber salad I ordered.”

“My son (8 years old) missed his first day of school. I found this sheet in his folder.”

“My ‘new’ chair at work.”

“The way my younger sister texts.”

“My partner put my laptop in the freezer because it was overheating.”

“My neighbor across the street sits in their Hummer all night with high beams pointed straight at my house.”

“The pocket size in female vs. male jeans.”

Source

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“PAIN”

“Car at the rec center this morning. Same on the other side, but through both door handles too.”

“Taking a shower for the first time in the house I just bought.”

“Automatic door at work was broken this morning. Walked right into it.”

“Ming the clam was accidentally killed by scientists while they were determining its age, which later turned out to be 507.”

“My online order arrived!”

“My gf of 5 years broke up with me, I took the TV because it was a gift from my grandma, and when installing it in my bedroom at my parent’s place I discover it got destroyed during transit.”

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“Close your mouth when you chew or else I’ll punch you square in the face.”

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