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Every January Canadian Living Magazine conducts the Canadian Living Sex Survey. This year, the focus was on technology and infidelity. In light of what this survey uncovered 8 months ago, should we really be surprised by the Ashley Madison hack? Thought not.

SOURCE

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Even though the male orgasm seems to get all the attention, it turns out women get the last laugh when it comes to climaxing. The average female orgasm lasts 20 seconds – 14 seconds longer than a male’s six-second one.

The average woman will have sex more than 3,000 times over the course of her reproductive years.

Sneezes, along with orgasms, are the only physiological responses that cannot be voluntarily stopped once they have started.

Four popes have died during sex.

This is one of the weird sex facts that most of us have not heard about before. During intercourse, your inner nose swells just as your breasts and genitals will. This is most notably due to the increased flow of blood while having intercourse.

According to a study from the University of Groningen in the Netherlands, the amygdala (the part of the brain involved in fear and anxiety) shuts down during a female orgasm.

The German for “contraceptive” is Schwangerschaftsverhütungsmittel. By the time you’ve finished saying it, it’s too late.

A female chimpanzee in a fit of passion has the strength of six men.

The “G-spot” was nearly called the Whipple Tickle- after Professor Beverley Whipple, who coined the expression that we know today.

People who are open to talking about sex are happier with their sex lives, according to Live Science.

For those who are wondering if their grandparents and great-grandparents still have sexual intercourse, the overwhelming answer is yes. Approximately one third of women in their 80’s continue to have sex with their husband or boyfriend, so long as they are both in good enough physical health to do so.

Telling a convincing lie to someone is much more difficult when you find them sexually attractive.

About 100 million couples around the world have sex every day. That means around 65,000 couples are having sex right now.

85% of women are very satisfied with their partner’s penis size.

Women who are prone to migraines tend to have a higher sex drive than those who are not.

Some people are wired to have more sex than others. Scientists are not entirely sure why this is, but it is true in both males and females. Some will want more, while others will want less; it just depends on how their brain is wired.

Orgasms are good for your health. They can lower a woman’s risk of heart disease, stroke, breast cancer and even depression.

Sex counts as a workout! 30 minutes of active sex will help you burn around 200 calories.

Seven Viagra tablets are sold every second.

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  Bad Santa (2003)

Billy Bob Thornton swears, drinks and fucks non-stop in this fun for the whole family movie.

What’s Sexy?: Billy’s got a sleazy sex appeal and the scene where he has sex in a car with Lauren Graham is one for the history books.
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: You’re kidding, right?

Reindeer Games (2000)

Ben Affleck assumes the identity of someone he met in prison and beds Charlize Theron.

What’s Sexy?: Ben Affleck in bed with Charlize Theron. Duh.
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: Probably. Sure.

Die Hard (1988)

Bruce Willis saves his wife and Christmas partygoers from a terrorist.

What’s Sexy?: Bruce Willis’ ARMS for one. And he’s glistening with sweat the entire movie. In that tank top.
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: They’re probably already watching it.

Batman Returns (1992)

Batman fends off Catwoman and the Penguin as they try to take over Gotham City.

What’s Sexy?: Michelle Pfieffer and Michael Keaton gave you a sexy leather fetish two decades before American Horror Story did.
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: They probably took you to see when you were a kid, they’ll appreciate the nostalgia.

Love Actually (2003)

A bunch of people fall in love because it’s Christmas or something.

What’s Sexy?: Rodrigo Santoro. Mmmmm.
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: You shouldn’t watch it at all because it’s a lame movie, but if you’re into this sort of thing, whatever.

Mean Girls (2004)

Lindsay Lohan brings down a group of bullies in her high school so she can hook up with a future cycling instructor at Fly Wheel.

What’s Sexy?: Aaron Samuels’ hair when it’s pushed back.
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: Only if they’re a cool mom.

Go (1999)

A drug deal gone wrong is told through three intertwining stories.

What’s Sexy?: Shirtless Timothy Olyphant.
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: Not unless you want them to ask you about “the drugs” that you do.

 It’s A Wonderful Life (1946)

Jimmy Stewart almost commits suicide on Christmas Eve until a guardian angel shows him life is worth living.

What’s Sexy?: The sexual tension in the phone scene between Jimmy and Donna Reed is one of those “only in the ’40s can you get a hard-on from people staring at each other fully clothed” scenes. And when they kiss afterward? Get a towel.
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: This was your grandmother’s original 50 Shades of Grey, so your parents are probably really creeped out by this movie.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Val Kilmer plays a suave, gay private investigator that will turn you on like one of those dames in a Raymond Chandler novel.

What’s Sexy?: If Val Kilmer’s not your thing, there’s also Michelle Monaghan dressed up as sexy Mrs. Claus and Robert Downey Jr. being Robert Downey Jr.
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: As long as you tell them it’s “just like Law & Order.”

Lethal Weapon (1987)

Mel Gibson and Danny Glover fight crime on Christmas and it’s before Mel Gibson started making public racist and sexist rants, so he might just turn you on.

What’s Sexy?: The opening has a shot of Mel’s bare ass. You’re welcome.
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: Yep. They’ll never be too old for this shit!

Gremlins (1984)

Gremlins take over a small town and terrorize it.

What’s Sexy?: Duh, horror movies get the blood pumping, making you all hot and bothered. And besides, who isn’t turned on by these scaly, miniature demons?
Can You Watch With Your Parents?: They’re probably gonna pass on this.

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Can’t unsee.

1. “Is it in you?” (Gatorade)

2. “Got milk?” (California Milk Processor Board)

3. “Once you pop, you can’t stop.” (Pringles)

4. “You’re not yourself when you’re hungry.” (Snickers)

5. “Taste the rainbow.” (Skittles)

6. “Betcha can’t eat just one.” (Lay’s)

7. “Good to the last drop.” (Maxwell House)

8. “Teeny doesn’t mean weeny.” (iPod Mini)

9. “Where’s the beef?” (Wendy’s)

10. “Finger-lickin’ good!” (KFC)

11. “I ate the bones.” (KFC)

12. “Think small.” (Volkswagon)

13. “Think big.” (IMAX)

14. “Keeps going and going and going.” (Energizer)

15. “A little dab’ll do ya!” (Brylcreem)

16. “Let your fingers do the walking.” (Yellow Pages)

17. “Pleasing people the world over.” (Holiday Inn)

18. “Bop it! Twist it! Pull it!” (Bop It)

19. “Beauty outside. Beast inside.” (Mac Pro)

20. “Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.” (M&M’s)

21. “M’m! M’m! Good!” (Campbell’s Soup)

22. “Reach out and touch someone.” (AT&T)

23. “Breakfast of champions.” (Wheaties)

24. “Great taste, less filling.” (Miller Lite)

25. “Eat fresh.” (Subway)

26. “It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.” (Timex)

27. “Obey your thirst.” (Sprite)

28. “Just do it.” (Nike)

29. “So easy a caveman can do it.” (Geico)

30. “Put a tiger in your tank.” (Exxon)

31. “When it absolutely, positively, has to be there overnight.” (FedEx)

32. “Our most important package is yours.” (FedEx)

33. “You can’t top the copper top.” (Duracell)

34. “Are you in good hands?” (Allstate)

35. “Think outside the bun.” (Taco Bell)

And, last but certainly not least…

36. “If it doesn’t get all over the place, it doesn’t belong in your face.” (Carl’s Jr.)

Indeed.

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How to Get Laid: 25 Best Ways to Hook Up With the Opposite Sex

How do I get laid? It’s a question asked by millions of guys, and not just virgins either. Everyone wants to know how to get laid in any and every possible scenario. Since we all weren’t dealt the same hand, we’ve jotted down 25 ways/tips to help you get laid.

Be as Attractive as Possible
They may not have known it at the time but Nada Surf dished out the most sagacious “how to get laid” advice there is in their 1996 tour de force Popular: “Being attractive is the most important thing there is. If you wanna catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible.” FUCK YES! That’s the shit I’m talking about. It’s not necessary, however, to look like Brad Pitt just to get laid. Sure, it helps to have a chiseled jawline, soul-piercing eyes and a buttox for the ages, but if you squeeze every last drop of attractiveness out of yourself — no matter what level you’re at — I guarantee you’ll be six unimpressive inches deep inside a queef box in no time at all. So long as you…

Play in Your Own League
It would be disingenuous to say looks aren’t the biggest factor in getting laid. For anyone that isn’t filthy rich, eighty percent of slangin’ dick is all about your exterior; it’s a superficial world and anyone willing to fuck you after knowing you for twenty-five minutes could care less about all the great stuff going on in the inside that ugly capsule you call a body. That said, if the most attractive version of you is a “4” on the scale of good-lookingness then you need to focus on chicks close to that or worse. Getting laid is completely different than finding a girlfriend. When you settle down, the last thing you want to do is settle but if you’re only looking to squeeze out a few pulses on a cold winter’s night, you’re going to fail if you consistently try to bang girl’s who don’t have a lazy eye to match yours.

Don’t Be Cheap
Pay for the cab, buy her a drink. Also a good way to discover your preferences. A girl who offers to pay is likely less entitled/not a gold digger, which will go a long way if you ever decide to get serious. Decline her offer because you are a man, and this is how the world works.

Be Good at Something
In other words, be interesting. Cooking, soccer, guitar, collecting stamps, ventriloquism, motorcycle maintenance, whatever. Don’t be a boring, mouth-breathing equivalent of an oak tree. Everyone is talented at something, so make an impression with those talents. You can do it without being a show-off, too.

Go Out With People That Fill in Your “Gaps”
Are you handsome as all shit but have horrible anxiety breaking the ice or approaching groups of girls? Make sure one of the guys in your group is fearless and always willing to be “that guy.” Even if he isn’t the best looking dude, the girls will see he’s rolling with you, Nature’s Gift, and immediately want to engage in conversation. For his troubles, he’ll get your table scraps. That’s how teamwork works, you guys.

Post Up
At college, I once heard a possibly apocryphal story about a guy who developed something he called the “Four Pillars” to getting laid. Three of them were ridiculous and shouldn’t be discussed here. One of the pillars, though, does work: Posting up. Moving too much in a bar makes you seem unsure of yourself. Actually standing still, though, allows you to scope out the situation and find the talented and available girls at a bar or party. Two people constantly moving in one space could theoretically never find each other. If one person stays still, though, that problem is eliminated. That’s kind of like science.

Be a Little Bit of a Dick
The concept of “negging” is too overplayed, and it makes us think of that awful “Mystery” guy. But this is an obvious fact: The nicer you are, the less chance you’ll have with a girl. Similarly, if you’re a complete asshole, you’ll also have less chance with a girl. The key is finding that happy medium where you’re challenging her a bit, but also not straight-up insulting her.

Don’t Make it a Big Deal
Think of how many nights out that had the sole goal of hooking up fell short of your expectations. Unless you’re Justin Timberlake or a young J. Camm, you’re not going to turn in a 100 percent success rate. Don’t let failure ruin your life or even deter you from having fun. I’ve always felt like random hookups require an inordinate amount of work for the eventual payoff. God, that feels good to get off my chest. Look, I like letting my dick swim in strange waters as next guy, but I’m not going to base my worth as a human being on how often that happens. You shouldn’t either.

Be Attentive
Take it from a guy who is married, bedding a random is far, far easier than keeping your old lady fat and happy on a daily basis. Listen to what they have to say, learn as much as you can. TRY. You’ll have plenty of time to willfully ignore a woman when she’s speaking once you tie the knot. A well-placed callback joke about a previous element of the conversation shows you care and that you’re not some self-centered asshole … even if you are, in fact, one of those.

Dance
It took me forever to grasp this one. I refused to go out on the dance floor and gyrate around like an idiot for too long. Then I had an epiphany. Women aren’t looking for someone who has world-class moves out there – they are looking for someone secure enough with himself to look silly in pursuit.

Smell Nice
Not every guy is the best looking guy in the room. Every guy can practice proper grooming habits, though. Don’t smell like a homeless man, and pop in a breath mint every now and then. Girls are looking for an excuse to sleep with you. Cleaning up nicely could be that excuse.

Have a Unique, Redeeming Personality Trait
The concept of peacocking is long-held to be a recipe for success. But if you peacock too superficially, she’s going to lose interest fast. Be funny, be quirky, be witty, be yourself. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to be something I wasn’t in order to bed the hot blond from two dorms over. And guess what? It never worked. Not because I’m not a catch (Solid 8 right here, ask around), but because a Bro is never as comfortable with another Bro’s equipment. If being the nice guy is your thing, stick to that. If being a dick is your thing, you should get another thing, but stick to that in the meantime.

Tequila

Don’t be too aggressive with ordering shots. But it makes you seem fun, and girls are really just trying to have fun. Just try not to vom.

Have Dope Sauce Body Language
Interacting with a girl is entirely a confidence game. More than anything, you have to believe you are going to get laid, or that you at least can pull it off. Remember that if you are interacting with a girl one on one, there are no rules as to who is “above” the other. You’re both potentially interested, so it’s simply a matter of leveraging that interest that makes you look as awesome as possible. Body language, then, physically appearing to embrace and be in command of the situation, is paramount.

Make Self-Deprecating Humor So She Feels Comfortable
We live in a world where it’s easy to want to justify how awesome we are–we’re a narcissistic generation, perhaps indirectly, but social media has certainly changed the game in terms of how we’re viewed by others, which in return has made us want to be viewed in the best possible light. Hence playing up our strengths, hence coming off as narcissistic.

I’ve always found self-deprecating humor as a great way to deflect this. Even it if you are so cool, or that thing you are doing is such a huge deal, remember that you are just a dude, trying to successfully woo a girl. Nothing is set in stone. Make her feel comfortable around you by letting her know that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

Appear to be Interested in What She Has to Say–Ask Follow Up Questions
You don’t have to actually listen. You’re simply communicating that you ascribe value to her in a way that you don’t to other people, which is basically a more socially acceptable way of telling her that you’d very much wish to bring her back to your place and engage in adult activities. Latch onto something that she says, and try to pursue it via leading follow-up questions. Even if she doesn’t realize it, she’s flattered.

Look, Look Away Dance Floor TacticThe grimy dance floor is our generation’s mating chamber. It requires a drastically different flirtation arsenal than other settings, especially when approaching a girl you don’t already know:

1) Initially show interest by sneaking a look at her. Lock eyes, fill up that second with an assertive intensity, but then look away and go back to doing whatever it is you were just doing. This will establish your intention, but do so in a way that doesn’t completely give her the upper hand. Maintaining and even playing field is crucial.

2) Repeat this tactic at least one more time to gauge her interest. Have enough social IQ to know if she reciprocates in any way. Otherwise, refrain from being the dreaded “creeper”

3) Continue tactic, position your body in a way that shows interest on your part, and eventually pick the right spot to introduce yourself. I’ve always hated the non-talk, automatically start grinding thing–it seems quite rapey–so just preface your interaction with something as innocent as a “sup.” There’s a decent chance the blaring music won’t let her hear what you’re saying, so if you’re really struggling for words, just mouth a bunch of stuff and smile. She’ll smile back. Don’t appear to be too aggressive here.

Don’t Be a Debbie Downer
If you’re the type of person who makes casual conversation by complaining about how much you hate your job, your roommates, your financial situation, your overly expensive rent, or the bar you happen to be at, you suck. Like it or not, your bitching kinda makes you bitch. Unless you’re establishing common ground by complaining about your mutual hatred for Ke$ha, no one wants to listen to a Negative Nancy. Don’t suck.

Don’t Talk About Your Ex, EVER
I don’t care if the girl you’re hitting on has the same last name, hails from the same state, or looks like her goddamn doppleganger, for all intents and purposes, when you leave the house, your ex is dead. No one, and I mean no one, wants to hear about that slut — your friends included.

Know Things
You don’t have to be the human equivalent of Yelp, but it doesn’t hurt to have a few clutch spots committed to memory: A great neighborhood coffee spot around the corner to cap off a date. A bar down the block that’s not quite as loud. The best 3 A.M. pizza slice on the West Side. That great sake bombing karaoke lounge that you think is in K-town. Be a master of your domain.

Compliment Her Without Being Cheesy
Or, be smooth. You don’t need to pull a Ryan Gosling “hey girrrrl,” but you should know how to compliment her without sounding like a cheeseball. When she makes a clever point during small talk, follow up by telling her that’s a good point and you never thought of it that way. Say she has fine taste in XYZ: movies, music, alcoholic beverages, etc. Tell her you like something about the way she looks. Be natural, be sincere.

Flowers and/or Gifts
Works like a charm if you’re in a relationship.

Become Friends First
Seriously, this one works. It’s a slow burn. Don’t believe all the bullshit about the friend-zone being an uninhabitable place. Instead, think of it as a sex bullpen. The power of positive thinking is real, people.

Buy a Hooker
I suppose this is technically the easiest way to getting laid. Unless you can…

Be a Woman
Hot chicks that aren’t even famous could get laid every night of the week if they wanted. And say what you want, ugly broads, but you still have it FAR BETTER than your male counterparts.

Source: www.brobible.com

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These stories will make the stork seem like a legitimate birthing method.

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Redditor XTheSmokingGunX asked if anyone remembered funny quotes from their days in Sex Ed.

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Titanic (1997)

How Much Do You Love Me? (2005)

Body Count (1997)

Havoc (2005)

Crash (1996)

The Hot Spot (1990)

The Chase (1994)

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

Idle Hands (1999)

Octane (2003)

Show Me Love (1998)

Save Me (1994)

The Doom Generation (1995)

Miss March (2009)

A Love Song For Bobby Long (2004)

Revolutionary Road (2008)

Crash (1996)

Quick (1993)

Boys Don’t Cry (1999)

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Elizabeth Daily as Babe

Babe: Pig In The Big City, also appeared as Tommy Pickles in Rugrats and as Steve from Curious George

James Earl Jones as Maggie Simpson

The Simpsons

Debi Derryberry as Jimmy Neutron

Jimmy Neutron

Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson

The Simpsons, also voiced Ralph and several other minor characters.

Frank Oz as Miss Piggy

The Muppets

Voice actors of the past and present

Colleen Clinkenbeard as Gohan

Dragonball Z

Regina King as The Freeman Brothers

The Boondocks

Robert Naylor as DW

Arthur

Charles Adler as Bev Bighead

Rocko’s Modern Life

Christine Cavanaugh as Dexter

Dexter’s Lab, also appeared on Rugrats as Chuckie Finster.

Mae Questel as Popeye

Trey Parker as Ms Choksondik

South Park

Pamela Aldon as Bobby Hill

King Of The Hill

Veronica Taylor as Ash Ketchum

Pokemon

Source

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