Wedding Cakes So Bad You Might Reconsider Getting Married Altogethe

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Hopefully this isn’t foreshadowing for the honeymoon.

“Screw it, let’s just have pie instead.”

Eh, close enough.

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Nailed it.

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“Just buy a nice topper and no one will notice how shitty the cake-part is…”

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“Our love is like a cone that’s slowly turning blue… or something.”

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“I asked for a sand castle, not a dirty phallus covered in sea shells.”

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Obviously this was the last attempt by the groom to trick his bride-to-be into admitting she isn’t a virgin.

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“Do you have anything that says: we met while getting arrested for graffitiing a rubber duck factory?”

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“Quick… how do I salvage this disaster?!”

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Jabba the… what?

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They left off the part about the pat-down and strip-search by the TSA.

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This cake-maker didn’t even try.

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“Love. Faith. Hope. Thrust. Love. Faith. Hope. Thrust….”

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Nothing says “true love” like a pile of tires, I guess?

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“I want a cake that looks like me, so you’ll know that’s the last piece of ass you’ll ever enjoy”

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“I want something grander than all your other cakes combined”

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Nothing like drawing your wedding cake inspiration from the Eye of Sauron.

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Even Salvador Dali would find this a little disappointing.

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What the hell is going on here…

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“I want a cake depicting my new husband falling off a cliff to his death.”

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The three frostingless fruitcakes of eternal devotion.

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The empty Bud Light cans were a nice touch.

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Everything was going so well for Patrick the Baker. But then the acid started to kick in…

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I didn’t realize they made cakes for “shooting your husband so you can run off with a deer.”

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“Ok so here’s what we want for our wedding: I want a cake that looks like an 8-year-old designed it, and then promptly sat on it.”

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