GIFs

"In Mexico, we need to throw a lighted match into the boiler in order to produce hot water. This is very dangerous and a lot of family have lost eyebrows because of this.”

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"I saw a car that instead of paint, was covered in short brown fur. Never seen anything like it since lol"

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"When my son was about 3, he told us how he remembered being a helicopter pilot in Vietnam. This was in 1998."

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“Smash that Like button!”

"The understanding that life isn’t like porn. Sometimes you finish too early. Sometimes your back hurts, and you have to go easy. Sometimes you just want regular-ass missionary."

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"The answer is always Purple Rain. I don’t make the rules."

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"Funko Pops. They’re the Beanie Babies of the ’20s."

I used to work in a convenience store, and the store manager was a real prick. Misogynistic, offensive (as in haha cancer is hilarious) offensive, creepy and a downright bully.

"Mother-in-law calling my wife for Facetime…"

“It came out when I was pretty young, so I really didn’t get it and I completely forgot about. I heard it again a couple of weeks ago and was like, ‘WTF, how did I miss this?!'”

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"As the flight attendant walked by prior to lift off, I purposely commented loud enough for her to hear, “Dude, stop trying to play footsie with me, I’m not interested!” He got all flustered and moved a little bit, though not a lot."

"Caterpillars turn completely into goo in their cocoon, and then become a butterfly."

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