15 Not So Reasonable Divorce Reasons

She saw a picture of him contra dancing he’d posted on Facebook. She knew he went contra dancing. That part wasn’t the surprise. In fact I’m still confused about this one.

Kid got one elephant ride too many. Mom and dad agreed before dad took daughter to circus that one elephant ride should be plenty. Mom later finds out that dad let daughter have two – not one, as agreed, but two – elephant rides.

As mom would describe it ‘he’s doubling down again, trying to get her to hate me. I know it. Why the hell else is someone letting their kid ride an elephant halfway around the whole damn town. Everybody knows now.’

Not an attorney, but my mom is a paralegal. There was one case that kept dragging along because they were fighting over the luggage. Once that was settled they started arguing over a $25 plastic palm tree. That palm tree prompted the case to go into mediation; costing both of them around $1000 each just for the mediation.

My friends parents divorced because His mother wanted a horse. His father argued that they can’t keep a horse in a 6th floor apartment and dont have enough resources or money to rent a stable. Then she f@#ked her sons math teacher and became a crackhead. I feel sorry for everyone involved.

My client and his wife were into a role-playing game, I think Second Life’? Everyone had an avatar (I suspect that his and his wife’s were much more spritely than they were in real life).

Anyway he suspected that she was being unfaithful to him in the game, so he created a fake avatar and stalked her in the game. Sure enough, she was running around on him, having virtual sex with another bloke (or bloke avatar anyway). That was it.

Obligatory not a lawyer, but a lawyer I know got a case because the husband didn’t change his Facebook status to married quickly enough after the wedding. (It was like 2 weeks.) The judge laughed at the lady and made them get marriage counseling. Lawyer pocketed north of $1000 for that.

So back in the pre-iphone era, there was a newly married couple in my apartment building , maybe 3-4 months in. I come home and hear them fighting about what the exact time is. (Like one was saying it’s 8:15 and the other was like no it’s 8:13). So the next day the guy just walked out and I never saw him again. Later I found out they got divorced “over some silly fight”.

I’m not a divorce attorney, but my former subordinate got divorced over Pokémon cards. At one point during the separation she came to work to accuse him of stealing some of her rares… It got near physical and we had to have security forces remove the spouse so we could get back to work. They were a hot mess.

Well she had a dream she was going to hell, so she blamed that on him. She now teaches catholicism just in case.

Not a divorce or a lawyer… But my ex years ago left me because I “wanted chickens in the front yard.” The conversation was something along the lines of how our futures just didn’t line up. Turns out he was cheating, but you know: blame it on the damn free range hens. It became a cherished phrase almost immediately.

The wife got tired of being married to a transplant surgeon and wanted to be an s&m hooker.

And yes it turns out she had mental problems.

I know a couple that wanted a divorce after 35 years because one of them were not happy with who their son was dating. People man, proof that even time can’t heal stupidity.

Not a lawyer, but my uncle once got a marriage annulled because she got mad at him for getting a sunburn on the honeymoon. dudes probably 98% Irish with the pastiest skin you’ve ever seen and she expected him to not get a sunburn?

Not a divorce attorney but there was a case in Kuwait where a woman wanted to divorce her husband because he eats hummus with a fork.

A guy I used to work with said his wife divorced him because she claimed God spoke to her and told her He wanted her to move the French Riviera to be wined and dined by wealthy men. Because apparently God encourages casual hookups and wealthy men in the Riviera are lining up to sleep with forty-something mothers of four.

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