“Is the ice cream served cold?”
Usually as a waiter, I can game-face almost anything, but there’s no way my face didn’t read “…the f@#k you just say?”
“Do you speak Canadian?”
I thought it was a bad joke. It wasn’t.
I worked at Blockbuster Video in 2004 for six months. I had three unrelated incidents, but the words and tone of all three were uncannily identical. They answered the question immediately before asking it… AND THEY STILL DIDN’T KNOW THE ANSWER:
“Yeah, I know my movie was late… Why do I have to pay a late fee?”
My sister once asked me if the humans killed all the Homo sapiens because they were stupid.
Also when she found out that you need more stamps to mail a big package, she asked how many stamps it would take to mail a car. My dad told her 50 as a joke and she just nodded her head and said “oh that makes sense.”
She was in college when she asked both of these questions.
A friend once asked my other friend who was a history teacher, “What was the president’s reaction to JFK’s assassination”
I was born significantly deaf. Was once asked, “Do deaf babies know sign language when they’re born?”
“Did you have to take a canoe to school” – a question I was asked once when I told them I moved from Hawaii
I called to order a pizza, half plain and half pepperoni.
Pizza Girl (sounding unsure): “Umm…I guess we could do that. Which half do you want the pepperonis on?”
I work IT, asked a person if her mouse was wired or wireless. She said “How am I supposed to know THAT?! This is YOUR job!”
What country are you from?
– Yes, yes, but what country?
My ex once woke me up from a nap to ask me if I was taking a nap. No s@#t did you not just wake me up? She defended this for years afterward
During a discussion about police emergencies in my high school class a student asked what the phone number was for 911.
If I plug an extension cord into itself it’ll work right?
My friend didn’t know what an STD was (he was 16 btw)
So he asked what it was and i replied a Sexually Transmitted Disease…his follow up question was then, “How is it Transmitted?”
“Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”
Normally a reasonable question but not when you’re scanning a 2 day old c-section wound.
(I know it was autopilot, because they have to ask every woman between 10 and 70, pretty much, but it was still the daftest thing I’ve ever been asked. And the tech laughed as much as I did once it clicked.)
And, something of a bonus story:
Not asked to me but by a buddy in the military.
We will call him Tony and we were in a pretty intense course in the military a few years ago. And tony had a problem with asking our instructors a lot of f@#king questions. If they asked if anyone had questions, Tony had about 3 or 4 that could be easily answered by anyone of us.
This obviously pissed our instructors off to a point where one snapped: “Tony, why do you ask so many f@#king stupid questions?” Tony smiled and replied: “So I don’t do something f@#king stupid, Sergeant” Everyone, including instructors, started laughing (minus the instructor who was legitimately pissed off with Tony). Goddamn Tony, he got em good