16 Women Share Things They Wish They Knew Before They Hit Their 30s

“Don’t over-pluck your eyebrows. They don’t always grow back the same.”

“Don’t waste your time on Life Plan Math. The whole ‘have a second kid at 35, have the first kid at 32, get married at 30, engaged at…’ It is all a big waste of time. You do not have as much control over those things as you think you do, and your priorities may change anyway. You’re not failing at anything if you turn 30 without a ring on your finger.”

“Don’t beg for a guy. Don’t belittle yourself. If he wanted to be with you, you would know. Self-respect is so important, and, even now, I feel so ashamed for not having any in my late teen years!”

“After a lifetime of hearing about the importance of safe sex, I fully expected the men I slept with to be serious about condoms. I had no idea that I would have to advocate and fight for something so basic.”

“One thing I really wish I could tell myself is not to hold on to things and people that weren’t right for me. I fought so hard to hold on to terrible boyfriends and college majors that I hated. I wish I could’ve just understood that everything would be alright if I let those things go.”

“Get rid of toxic friends. Don’t hold on to people just because you’ve known them since you were kids when you don’t really have anything in common with them anymore.”

“You don’t have to ‘stick it out’ when something is mentally or physically unbearable.”

“People who speak positively about their friends when those friends aren’t around are the people you want to be friends with.”

“Do not compare where you are in life to where your friends are in theirs. Life is not a race. Go at your pace and do what makes you happy. Support other women and be kind. Remember that it’s ok to disagree with people you love; it doesn’t have to be a disaster.”

“ADHD is massively underdiagnosed in women. If you’re great in a crisis but can’t write a paper until the night before it’s due, ask for an ADHD test from your doctor or therapist.”

“There are other narratives besides college, marriage, house, and kids. In fact, you get to write your own! There are options.”

“Don’t disregard your physical health. It wasn’t until my late twenties that I really internalized the concept that working out and eating healthy were the rewards, not the punishments.”

“Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s 100% okay. I spent a whole lotta time trying to be nice to a lot of people who definitely didn’t deserve it. I tried to be as friendly as possible in every situation — which also meant that people treated me like s@#t. Turns out, I don’t even like 10% of the people I meet. So who cares?”

“There is no expiration date for learning new things, changing careers, making a big move, or getting married. People will try and compare you to others, but it’s not your job to prove yourself to anyone but yourself. You just have to do the best that YOU are capable of for YOU.”