“The sun is made of gold. We debated for hours, he still refused to believe it was not.”
“Someone once told me that smoking cigs will help treat my asthma bc my lungs would be building a tolerance to the smoking and that means that I won’t have such a hard time during asthma attacks bc my lungs would already be used to the strain that smoking causes. He even tried to back it up with “my friends have asthma and they smoke””
“If you ever fall out of a plane without a parachute you should grab onto the ground when you hit it so that you don’t bounce because that is the bounce that kills you not the first impact. He swore that it was true and that a skydiving instructor had told him.”
“Space was created by Disney to further the hoax of space/earth being round. He was dead serious, and he quoted “his own brain after much research” as his source. I wish I was kidding.”
“Coworker of mine after i they find out im colourblind:
“So you cant see this?” /is holding a red tray we used to carry orders out
“I mean yea, but-“
“WAIT YOU CAN SEE THE TRAY?!?!?!?”
/confused for a moment Did you think i couldnt see the object because it’s red?!”
“Well duh, if you’re colourblind you cant see things that are that colour, right?”
“They aren’t invisible to me you dumb@$$, i just cant properly tell what colour it is!!!””
“Asians don’t have fingerprints”
“A distant cousin, who has long been a complete dumb@$$, once told me that whatever direction she is facing is north.
It came up when I was on the phone giving someone directions and she was nearby. I said something like “go north on (x) street, then take a left on (y), etc”. She overheard me and said that I didn’t make any sense because whatever direction you’re facing is north, so north changes depending on which way you are facing. I said “no, north is north, it’s only the direction you’re facing if you happen to be facing north” and she started arguing with me over it.
She definitely was not just f@#king with me because she is a dumb@$$ that has a long history of saying really stupid s@#t.”
“That she could never use a sperm donor to have a kid….because she wasn’t 100% sure that the baby/child would speak English….”
“The Greeks didn’t have metal.”
“You shouldn’t wear a seatbelt because, in the event of a crash, you’re better off being thrown out of the car than being trapped in it.”
“They laid their jacket right beside a stove. “Don’t worry it’s waterproof.””
“When i was in Grade 10 of high school (In the US, so we were 15/16 year olds) a guy in my class argued with me because he was insistent that the penis has a bone, because, and i quote, “Why else would it be called a boner?””
“I believe the ferrets have layed their eggs again in the attic. I hear them strolling around since a few days”.
“You can only get covid-19 if you get bitten by someone who had it.”
“My dad’s story.
A co-worker told my father that you should always bring someone with you in the operating room when you’re having surgery or else the doctor will molest you.
I mean, I’m sure it’s happened but apparently the guy was 100% convinced that every doctor would do it.”
““You should try to incorporate cinnamon and apple cider vinegar into your diet, then you can get off the insulin and use more natural products to control your blood sugar”
I’m a type 1 diabetic”
“I had a teacher in school who confidently claimed that sharks were mammals.”
“I worked at CVS and this woman was buying a 6 pack of Smart Water. She asked me if it would make her smarter and when I said no she asked to speak with a manager?”