“I have the same first name as the CFO of my former employer. The CEO was not very technically savvy, and emailed me confidential company documents more than once.”
“I was living with my girlfriend and her parents. One day I run down the stairs real quick to use the bathroom to see her parents getting down and dirty under the blanket on the couch.. at this point it was too late to turn around so I just ran past them. I use the bathroom and come out to her dad waiting in the kitchen… most awkward moment I’ve had when it comes to parents lol”
“When I was around 10 years old my mom and I went to visit an aunt and uncle as my uncle, my moms brother, had just had a major surgery. During the visit my aunt and my mom cooked a big dinner and my aunt tells me to go call for my cousin to eat dinner. I go to his room and open the door to be greeted by the sight of guns lining the bed, and I vividly remember seeing, bricks of what I later learned were cocaine, and big burlap sacks of weed.
I blurted out “YOURMOMSAIDCOMEEAT” and immediately slammed the door shut. It was no secret to anyone in our family the type of business that our cousins were in. He came out of his room a few minutes later and scolded me for not knocking. I was scared s@#tless but the young kid brain in me was also extremely fascinated to see that they were real life “drug lords””
“I went to pay a ticket I got while driving with my headlights turned off. I walked into the courthouse office I was supposed to be in and looked through the glass to see the elected male sheriff giving the female magistrate a back and shoulder rub. They both went white when I knocked on the glass.
The sheriff immediately stopped and walked to another room. The magistrate gave me the weirdest look and said “I guess Christmas came early for you” STAMP and gave me the receipt of the voided ticket. Sometimes it pays to see something you’re not supposed to see.”
“I needed a USB drive at work one day, and asked one of my coworkers if I could borrow one.
It didn’t work though, for some reason files wouldn’t transfer to it. I started looking around for clues and found an absolute massive porn collection on there. The coworker was looking over my shoulder the whole time. The only thing I could think of to say was “Hmm, interesting”.”
“Living out in the country, when I was 10 years old, my parents went to the local video rental place and brought back a few VHS. They told me to pop in Planet of the Apes. I did and whoever had it before didn’t rewind it and it started mid video…and all you heard was moaning and all I saw was an eyeful of d@#k and vagina. And I stared glued to the TV, and my parents freaked out and ran to turn off the tv.
Apparently the small video rental store back then doubled as an adult video store as well and somehow they accidentally grabbed a copy of Playmate of the Apes by accident.”
“Definitely going to go with my grandmother’s vibrator”
“A text from my wife to someone else, “I can’t wait to feel every inch of you deep inside me.”
Divorce is going okay.”
“My exes reddit where he was asking for relationship advice.”
“Grandpa’s porn stash. After he passed away in the hospital, I went straight to his room and purged it.”
“I was definitely not supposed to see my former boss banging the woman from the housekeeping agency.
I was also not due the 35% raise that came my way the following month but hey.”
“I teach high school. While I was taking attendance at the beginning of a Zoom class a few months ago, one of the girls in the class was clearly video chatting with her boyfriend on the side, because she lifted up her shirt for him and flashed the whole class.
That made for an awkward communication to her parents.”
“Album and a shoebox full of Polaroid sex shots of my grandmother, VHS tapes of my grandparents having group sex with other people, their bestiality fetish tapes, their Nazi paraphernalia. Found it all while clearing out my grandfather’s trailer after he died.
Also found jars full of piss, but I don’t think he cared whether I saw those or not.”
“My brother and I were very curious children..
One day he pulled me into our spare bathroom all excited because he had found a “huge surprise” in the garbage can beside the toilet. Inside the garbage can there was a tortilla chip bag with a whole bunch of rolled up things inside…
We opened it up thinking that they were surprise toys (like kinder surprise) left inside the bag by accident. Nope, they were my mom’s bloody pads.”
“Yesterday my dog was barking while I was facetiming a friend. I went out to the gate to see what he was barking at (it’s 9’ high) and peeped through the hand hole to see my next door neighbour taking a piss on the land between our places. I saw his d@#k then he was looking at my eye he said “It’s ok Buddy” which is my dogs name. So yesterday I saw my next door neighbours d@#k then held eye contact for a second.”
“My wife’s stepmom dated a guy who shared my name. She sent the titty pic to the wrong contact. She was around 60 at the time.
I deleted it and took the opportunity to get off my @$$ and down to the cell phone shop for a new phone and a new number. I then texted all of my contacts saying I’d gotten a new number and may have missed anything they sent in the last four hours. I created a perfect excuse for us never to speak of even the possibility of something so wrong, but I still haven’t drunk enough to forget it.”
“When I was seven, I was playing hide-and-go-seek with my cousins at my grandmas house. I hid in the wicker laundry basket with the lid closed. “This is awesome,” I thought to myself as only a child discovering the greatest hiding place can feel. I could see thru the small gaps in between the wicker. It was in my grandmas bathroom and 2 feet in front of the toilet. My grandma walked through the bathroom door not 30 seconds after I contorted myself and closed the lid above me.
With my face pressed against the side of the hamper, my grandma walked in, sat down and BOMBED that toilet. I couldn’t avert my eyes. Staying perfectly still so this awkward situation doesn’t turn more awkward. The noises. The smell. My grandma’s vagina.
I won the game. I lost my innocence.”