Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
“Cats. I just kept waiting for an explanation that never came…”
“Dear Zachary. If you’ve seen it, you know. There’s a part where the documentarian/voiceover gets choked up as he’s talking and it ruins me.”
“Deliverance. I did not know the plot. Oh look, 3 buddies going on a camping trip, what could possibly go wrong?”
“Grave of the Fireflies. It’s not just a movie that makes you sad. It is a movie that evokes real, actual grief.”
“Hostel. f*cking Hostile.”
“The Men Behind The Sun is one of the rare movies that legit disturbed me. It’s about the horrible experiments done at Japanese Unit 731 during World War II. That one scene… if you’ve seen it, then you know. The casualness of it, the suddenness of it, the seeing it coming but knowing that nothing will happen to stop it.”
“Tusk… Weird as ###k.”
“There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane. The one victim’s relative said it perfectly when she said (paraphrasing here) she could forgive Diane, but her husband she is still working on.”
“Dead Girl, a couple of teenage boys find a zombie chick strapped to a gurney in the basement of an abandoned insane asylum, so naturally one of them just starts raping her repeatedly. That’s like 90% of the plot. It’s just damn unsettling.”
“Punk’s Dead: SLC Punk 2. The original is a lovely little cult film from the 90s. Its sequel in 2016? Barely a movie. Like, this film is so absurdly cheap and poorly made that it does the kind of sh*t that student films don’t do because it’s too amateur. The sound is sh*t. The shots are sh*t. There is one actor who’s in the vicinity of giving a good performance. The only reason I finished it was because of how savagely my friends and I mocked it for our amusement. It has no other value.”
“The hills have eyes 2006.”
“Avatar The Last Airbender, It was the worst reboot ever made and I can’t stand a minute without physically cringing.”
“A Serbian film.”
“Sausage Party but mostly because it was seen with family.”
“Human centipede.”
“Watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind a few weeks after a hugely painful breakup. This is not the way.”
“The Road. That movie will crush your soul.”
“Don’t watch Uncut Gems if you have anxiety.”
“‘Gummo’. The only movie I’ve turned off because it was too disturbing. It was just a string of troubling scenes that had no purpose. It’s been decades since I’ve seen it and it still makes me queasy.”
