19 Not Smart Questions

“I’m an identical twin. When I was in primary school a classmate asked if I ever forget which one I am.”


“I once told someone that I could count the number of women I’d been with on one finger. After a long moment of silence that I mistook for comprehension, he asked “so how many?””


“If I spoke English… while we were having a conversation fluently in English. I just said no, and they said “oh I’m sorry to bother you” and then just walked away. Still baffles me to this day.”


“So, as a sperm donor, I can not f@#k married women?

A friend of me and husband who apparently thought that if you get a registered sperm donor you will get calls from willing women to f@#k them to get pregnant.”


“How do they know there is gas under gas stations?”


“When waitressing a patio shift people would stand, literally on the other side of the fence, debating whether to eat inside or outside.

It was very common for them to ask “what’s the weather like on the patio today?”

As if they weren’t currently standing..in the outside weather.”


“I’m Australian, when I lived in the US I was asked if we have roads.”


“I am blind. I was staying over at my cousins house once, and one of them asked me, do you know sign language? I said, I am Blind not deaf. They responded, I know that you could talk to deaf people that way. I said, yes, I can talk to them but I wouldn’t know what they are saying.”


“I had a brain fart once when I was a teen and asked someone if they had ever died.”


“I’m British and when visiting New York I was asked if I came over by plane or car. She insisted there was a bridge between Britain and the US.”


““Can I get a room with an ocean view”

No ma’am you cannot get an ocean view staying at a hotel in Las Vegas.”


“Omg is this made of real moles?!?”

Referring to Molé, a Mexican/South American condiment. She was Mexican.”


“I’m a teacher. We have the day off tomorrow. My husband asked me if the students have the day off, too.”


“Wait, wasn’t Martin Luther King Jr. assassinated twice?”


“Training a kid on fryers: “how many tenders are in a four piece?””


“Not me, but my uncle: My great aunt came to visit us after twenty years and when she looked around the yard she asked my uncle “Wasn’t this house over there in a different spot?” He looked at her, dead serious, and said: “Yea, but our neighbor complained, so me and my friends got together and moved it a hundred feet” She believed him”


“Last year at Christmas we had Cookie Salad for the first time. My son in law asked, “What makes it taste like cookies?”

We all just looked at him and in unison said, “Cookies”

We’ll never let him live that one down.”


“Not me but I live in Hawaii and someone I know said a tourist once asked him if the water went all the way around the island.

Another friend said a tourist asked if they could just swim under the island (snorkel, actually, not even SCUBA) to get to the other side.

My husband’s cousin once said she wanted to get her dad’s RV and drive from California to Hawaii to see us.



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