“Canada here. Please don’t litter in our wildlife preserves. Please.”
“Don’t talk so damn much. Don’t sit next to us. Keep at least one meter of personal space. Don’t tip. Don’t haggle. Shut up. Drink more.
Finland, in case you were wondering.”
“Don’t just walk up to a kangaroo and pat it in the wild. Those f@#kers will kick the sh#t out of you. I’m looking at you Japanese”
Wearing khakis And hiking boots screams tourist. It makes you a target for criminals and that sweet camera you bought for your trip is going to find a new home. And besides, if your trip is going to involve hiking of any kind S&R would prefer you wore bright clothes so it makes your @$$ easier to find if you get lost.
If you are going on a game drive (no one here calls it a safari) keep your doors locked and windows rolled up. Otherwise, enjoy being Simbas lunch. Respect the wildlife, they are wild animals and have no qualms about making you unalive.”
“In America, don’t get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to.”
“Britain – Do not antagonise the Queen’s Guard. They are well within their rights to lay hands on you if you provoke them.”
“Iceland: Just because you watched Top Gear, don’t think you can drive all over nature. Actually, this probably applies to most countries Top Gear has visited.”
“Australia: Don’t go to our beaches without first applying sunscreen. Wear clothes and POLARISED sunglasses. We have the highest rate of skin cancer in the world due to extreme UV during summer. Also don’t go swimming in your clothes at a beach, you’ll drown.”
“Quebec here, well Canada. Don’t buy maple syrup from the first stall you see, it will be way overpriced. Just go to a grocery store you’ll do great economy”
“America: Plan too much. If you wanna see the Statue of Liberty, the Smithsonian, the Alamo, and the Grand Canyon, you’re going to spend all of your time driving. Pick a specific area, and do everything you can in there.”
“Go on a hike unarmed when visiting the Svalbard archipelago here in Norway. You are required to aways have a firearm with you to protect against polar bears when traveling outside the populated areas.”
“UK: Don’t ever – ever – criticise the BBC or the NHS.
It’s ours; we can complain all we like because we pay for it. And we like to complain too.
It’s our unofficial national sport.You are merely a guest – if you ever need to use the BBC or NHS, you do not get to complain about it!”
Don’t f@#king walk out of the bus without looking both ways. There is an actual bike path between the pavement and the road at almost all bus stops. This means that if you just walk out of the bus once you reach your stop, you will get hit by a person on a steel contraption, moving at a very dangerous speed. It can get bloody, expensive and very embarrassing. This same thing applies when you need to get onto a bus. Don’t just walk up to it and hop it: Look both ways before you cross the bike path”
“UK: Don’t sit at a table in the pub and wait for someone to come and take your order.
Reason why? They won’t.”
Please don’t say we are like Germans in any way. We do not sound like them, we do not look like them, in fact, just don’t mention anything German.
Also; Don’t walk in the bicycle lane, don’t feed the doves and don’t be a cool with the weed. Yeah it’s fine to smoke in public but don’t do it in crowded places or when kids are around.”
“Japan: stop with the stereotypes, don’t mention the war, don’t try to hug people/hand shaking, keep tidy.”
“In S. Korea tipping is acceptable is some places, but is mostly considered rude and belittling”
Do not kiss in public.
In India it is okay to pee in public but not okay to kiss in public.”
Dont wear camo/military style clothing.
When the lifeguard tells you “dont swim near the rocks”, DONT. F@#KING. SWIM. NEAR. THE . ROCKS. You will either pass away, or break every bone in your body.”
Decide you don’t need sunscreen because you’re from California and it’s pretty much the same. Yes, I know your hotel is only ten miles from the airport and you paid extra for a convertible. You’re toast. Literal toast.
Figure it’s a tropical theme park, not a place where people live and work. Yes, folks, that’s a road. For cars. Don’t walk right down the middle. And no, I am not a cast member.”
“Brazil. Don’t go to the favelas (slums), it’s usually not save for people that don’t live there. Even worst don’t go without someone that knows or lives there. I honestly don’t get why so many tourists want to go to the worst part of the country.”
“In France : don’t ever sign a young deaf girl’s petition (she’s actually not deaf at all) she’s just doing this to make money. And no, don’t buy this amazing gold ring this old lady found on the floor right behind you..”
Maybe not never, but be cautious while getting a cab at the airport/train stations. Most of the guys will try to rip foreigners off.
Also, never leave our country without trying traditional polish cuisine, because it’s awesome. I recommend some pierogi, bigos, żurek and zapiekanka.”
“USA here. Whistling at a waiter.”
“Dublin, Ireland (didn’t realise there was so many dublin’s): don’t go to Temple bar, tourists always stop to ask directions, i try and tell them there are nicer, much less expensive places, but because all the guide books tell them it’s the place to be they don’t want to listen.”
“Venezuela : Show $ in cash on the sreets or any kind of smartphone.”
“Singapore: Act like we cannot speak English, insult the elderly, or criticise the working class (meaning stuff like the public transport and things working class people use), or do crimes and expect the law to be lenient to you because you’re a foreigner.
We may not react to you irl but the passive aggressiveness will turn into a sh#tstorm online as swarms of wrathful keyboard warriors descend upon your sins.”
“Have [your] windows rolled down. In Tijuana especially. You’ll be guilted into buying so many f@#king churros.”
“Don’t get a traditional tattoo and then go get it covered up when you leave… I’m not Maori so I don’t have much of an understanding of the beliefs of it all, but I’m pretty darn sure that’s not something you should do. They aren’t going to welcome you back and look at you in the same light very easily. Looking at you Rihanna
Country: New Zealand”