30 Lessons Learned The Hard Way That’ll Make You Feel Smarter

Get ready to feel smarter as you dive into these funny and relatable stories of late realizations.

“I didn’t know pirates were real until I was like 27. Fully thought they were made up characters like leprechauns.”

“I wasn’t eating “a sparagus”, I was eating “asparagus”.”

“A pony is not a baby horse. Also, a reindeer is a real animal.”

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“I didn’t know the exhaust fan in the bathroom was there to get rid of the humidity in the room to prevent mold. I thought it was there to get rid of the smell. I was 68.”

“I thought baby carrots taste different than big carrot cause the baby ones always seem more wet and I don’t like that….so figured they were also grown differently like maybe they were a different species of carrot -turns out they are just big carrots cut up and shaped. I like big carrots.”

“Those roadside memorials are not actually where they buried the person. I always thought that was so disrespectful to just leave people in the ditch where they died.”

“Pufferfish fill with water, not air.”

“I was an adult when I found out that Alaska is not an island and, in fact, is attached to Canada. All the maps as kids showed Alaska like an island next to Hawaii. I swear, I’m a well educated person.”

“I just realized the other day that to “make ends meet” had nothing to do with meat. Like I got what it meant from context but I thought it was like I’m so poor I can’t make ends meat like it was some kind of dish.”

“That the wax in candles are actually the fuel for the flame. I thought that the wick was soaked in fuel and the wax just melted away to reveal it. I was well into adulthood when I learned this.”

“Narwhals are real. Age 28.”

“Bandicoots are real animals and not just the Crash Team Racing character. I was about 27.”

“You can just twist the deodorant to remove the protective cap instead of wrangling it out with your teeth.”

“I was 25 when I discovered that Sherlock Holmes was not a real person. I was so disappointed and betrayed.”

“Dinosaur bones in museums aren’t real bones only a cast (sometimes smaller displays will be real but they will state so).”

“I know absolutely nothing about fashion and my wife watches a show called “Say yes to the dress” about picking wedding dresses. They kept using a term to describe sleeves and after hearing it a dozen times I paused the show and said “JFC! What the hell are CAT-sleeves? Nothing about em looks like a d**n cat”She informed me the term is “Cap-sleeves” and now if she seees that sort of sleeves on someone she turns to me and meows.”

“My shoe size lol I though shoes were supposed to fit snug to the foot, turns out I was wearing a half size to a whole size down lol.”

“A cow has to have had a baby to produce milk.”

“That in “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” Santa is the dad in a costume. Until I was mid-20s I really thought the mom was cheating on her husband with Santa.”

“My mom is 64 and she just learned that the sun is a star. She thought it was its own thing I suppose!”

“59 years old when I found out New England is NOT a single US state — it’s a region of 6 states. Maybe I thought so because of the New England Patriots?”

“I realised the pickle thing around the same age as you. I was 16 when I suddenly realised that pine cones came from.pine trees.”

“I vividly remember the moment I realized the “every kiss begins with Kay” commercial was a play on words with kiss literally beginning with the letter K(ay). I thought they were just bold and claiming kisses begin with their jewelry brand. Yes I’m autistic and yes I have more examples, that’s just my favorite and first big one.”

“That the song i thought was called ice capade by janet jackson is actually called escapade.”

“That the name Liam is short for William.”

“I thought Charles Barkley the basketball player and gnarles Barkley the musician were the same person.”

“The Normans that invaded England way back? Were from NORMANDY….. I’m not sure why that never dawned on me.”

“I was diagnosed with adhd at 40. All the signs and symptoms were there my entire life.”

“That I have curly hair… my entire life I thought o was cursed with dried out, frizzy Hermione hair… turns out my hair has some solid locks when I ditch the brush, avoid combing while hair is dry, and get a satin night cap lol.”

“This one is hard to admit, but how babies are actually made. I learned when I was 16/17. I knew where they come out of but not how they got in there.”

“That sheep have tails I genuinly did not notice they had tails.”

“You always find the thing you are looking for in the last place you look. I get that it means it’s the last place because why would you keep looking after you find it. But what I always thought it meant was the thing is always in the last place you would consider looking at to find it.”

“How to pronounce “ethereal”, i didnt know it was like eth-ear-eal like cereal, i thought it was ether-eel LOL.”

“I am an educated man in my 40s. I have travelled the world. I have loved and lost. I engage with a wide variety of creative media, so as to expand my understanding of the world while also engaging my mind.I was wildly mispronouncing “biopic” the entire time. I am a dolt.”

“I was like 50 when I found out the Everly Brothers were white guys.”

“How to cook rice without a rice cooker. (Still use one when I can, though. Cause it’s just better.).”

“I was too old when I learned blue raspberry is just a mix of raspberry and blue berry and not a real fruit.”

“The numbers on the dial on a toaster are minutes, not levels of toasty-ness.”

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