Barnorama Welcome To The Fun Barn
She might think she’s being charming, but men share the quiet habits and quirky traits that instantly make them pause—and maybe ghost.
“Playing hard to get or other little games. If she’s interested too, she should be a mature person and pursue the mutual interest with equal effort.”
“The mentality of “I’m never the problem, everyone else has issues”.
Just let’s my brain know to move along.”
“Attention seeking. Looking around constantly to see if other people notice them, talking louder than the environment to draw attention, this weird fake “notice me energy”, I don’t even know how to put it into words but I can feel it from a hundred feet away already. Really bad vibrations.”
“The whole being too good for a simple date. I never met the girl and suggested a coffee date. She felt I wasn’t putting in enough effort because she’s too good for that to be a first date. She wanted me to take her to a nice Italian restaurant. I would totally have taken her to a nice restaurant on a later date. First date needs to be casual and easy to escape.”
“Cant put down their phones.”
“When women make things beyond difficult for waiters and waitresses. This is a HUGE red flag, especially if the wait staff is doing everything right or to the best of their abilities.”
“If a woman has no other topic to talk about than other people (especially their exes or women they lost them to) it’s a flag so red you could calibrate colour pickers on it.”
“Constantly talking about how “all their exes were crazy.”.”
“”If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
It’s not only a bad implication, its also a weirdly confrontational thing to say before anyone has even said “hello.”.”
“Not offering to pay for anything. I always expect to pay for dates and rarely would let a date pay for anything but the expectation that they’ll pay for nothing ever is a red flag.
One of my favorite memories of my wife and I while dating was when we wanted to go out on a date but I didn’t have any money as it was between pay days. She smiled and said she’d gladly take me out and pay.
That was the best pizza I had ever had.
That was 14 years ago and to this day she’s still a kind and sweet person that is always willing to
Meet you where you are and go together thru anything.”
“When a woman will totally disregard their kids in order to completely focus on you.”
“One date, many years ago I spent a whole evening with a girl and payed for everything.
We talked for hours. Or, she did.
When she wanted another date I said sure, if you could tell me my name.
There was no other date.”
“IGing everything. It screams projection and needing validation from people who don’t matter.”
“Not being interested in their date.. not asking questions and not caring about anything.”
“Princess mentality.”
“Cares too much about social media validation.”
“**-The use of therapy language to disguise lack of emotional depth**
Accurately and precisely discerning your emotions and thoughts is a good skill, cleverly embellishing behaviours and feelings with social-media-hip-psychology less so, and really just comes off as you not ‘actually’ doing personal work.
**-Bodyshaming**
Being obsessed with bringing other people down over how they look, especially when it’s things they can’t control. Seeing women do this to guys is low, seeing women do it to OTHER women? Even lower.
**-Berating/making fun of their partner in front of people**
No idea why this is so common. It’s not cute or funny, and just makes you look like you hate each other behind closed doors.”
“Clear lacking of emotional regulation. Huge red flag IMO. For instance…
1) Seems to always externalize their own needs rather than self-soothe. It’s okay to need someone else to co-regulate…but _always_?
2) When a woman gets angry and acts in a very reactive or volatile way towards people, then complains or plays victim when hard boundaries get set or when they get similar behavior in return. When you’re treating people badly or actively disrespectful…what exactly kind of treatment are you expecting?”
“Obsession with designer labels and material things in general..”
“Low effort. When I feel like I’m always the one reaching out, I’m always the one starting conversations, I’m the one trying to keep things going, I’m the one making plans. I’ve chatted with women who insist they’re interested, but put in no effort, and when I start to ease up and give them space they rush back wondering why I’m no longer interested.
It would be nice to wake up to a good morning text, or have someone be the one to say “let’s do this”, or even if they feel the conversation is starting to hit a stale point to try and save it. Not place all of that solely on me.”
“I’m a woman so I apologize for answering a question directed at men, but here’s one thing I notice that a lot of women do (and some men do) that is an instant red flag:
Talking smack about people behind their back, constantly, and in ways they’d never say to those people’s faces. You know the adage “if they do it with you, they’ll do it to you”? Same for this. Usually when someone engages in this behavior regularly, it’s out of jealousy, immaturity, unresolved issues, or a combination thereof.”
“Not having a hobby or something like to do in their life XD.”
“Entitlement. I dated a girl that insisted her parent’s and her grandparent’s money was, in her words, “money I’m entitled to…it’s my money”. For what? Being born. I don’t want a partner who thinks this way. I’ve been dumped many times but this is someone I actually dumped myself.”
“Having a million different problems with someone but not being able to talk through a single one of them.
After a certain point, you recognize that the “solution” that they are seeking is to try to dismiss the entire person by racking up the number of perceived flaws in the eyes of the audience that they’re performing for, rather than address or solve any actual problem itself.”
“This applies to any gender – gets instantly defensive when you try to bring up something that’s having a negative impact on you.”
“Complaining about everything then moving the goalposts once a situation changes to continue complaining.”
“Having a conversation and constantly talking about male/exes etc. The girls never seem to get it.”
“Being overly worried about appearances, not just their appearance, but how things look to other people. It just screams high maintenance and I know we’d never be able to relax and just have fun without caring that we’re making idiots out of ourselves.”
“When they are being catty towards other women for no reason at all.”
“I have a friend who ignores me all the time and says it’s because her phone doesn’t have charge. I went to visit her in the weekend, and her boyfriend was messaging her and she said ‘ugh can’t be bothered with him, going to tell him tomorrow that my phone was out of charge’, which I then instantly clocked that she probably does that with me. I just wish I confronted/called her out for it.
Is it spiteful for me to do the same thing back at her?”
“That arrogant and condescending air that says “I can do whatever I want and treat people like s**t because I’m the prettiest”.
They often say that they want to meet someome kind, which I find hilarious.”
“Too vain / Totally uninformed or interested in world events.”
“Comparing to their exes.”
“Married, but makes jokes about divorce.”
“Trying to make the guy jealous.
Once I hit my early 30s, I could easily tell when a date/girlfriend was attempting to make me jealous….in my teens it would work, by 30 it just makes the woman look petty/malicious/immature.”
“Contempt.”
“There’s nothing wrong with talking about one’s past life and past relationships from time to time. I think it’s important to understand how your SO got to where they are today, how that affected them as a person, etc. That’s not really first date material, though, nor is it something that needs to be a frequent topic of conversation, especially when a couple is spending time with other friends. At a certain point it becomes clear that the person who keeps bringing it up is not at peace with their past relationships and is not ready for a new one.”
“I’m happily married, but one thing that makes me cringe and throws up red flags even from a friend standpoint is when a woman says they “don’t get along with other women” or “always got along better with the guys”.”
“Entitlement.”
“When she refers to every ex as ‘crazy’ but keeps a scrapbook of their texts.”
“I’m 81 and have been a widow since I was 62, but when I first met my husband, we talked about ideas, current events, politics, etc. as well as books and movies. We listened to music and only watched a little TV. We went out to eat and to see movies… only occasionally a concert or play. Basically we spent our time falling in love and being besotted with each other. We stayed in love with each other until the day he died from glioblastoma. That diagnosis was an extremely hard one because it is a death sentence- in 95% of the cases the person receiving the diagnosis dies within 15 months of receiving it. I still really miss him, not that there weren’t a few bumps in the road, like when living with anyone. But we were sympatico. I had a good marriage with a husband who “let me be me” as one of my friends put it. If you can’t have that type of marriage then don’t bother because you will be unhappy.”