25 Excessively Extravagant “Tiger King” Quotes

I’m gay as a three dollar bill.

-Joe Exotic

Smile everyone! Life could be worse. You could have a crotch like Carole does.

-Joe Exotic, Facebook

I went to work every day prepared to die in a tiger cage. Dying doesn’t scare me. At all.

-Joe Exotic

You know when I woke up this morning I was in a FREE F@#KING COUNTRY. And I’m still there.

-Jeff Lowe

It didn’t matter how stupid he had to get… or if I was sittin’ there concentrating as hard as I could… on the computer to write a letter to a senator or congressman or something else, he’d come and rub them balls in my face.

-Joe Exotic at HIS HUSBAND’S FUNERAL

First thing is, I am not cutting my hair. I’m not changing the way I dress. I refuse to wear a suit. I am gay. I’ve had two boyfriends most of my life. I’ve had some kinky sex. I have tried drugs through the younger years of my life. I am broke as s@#t.

-Joe Exotic

You can see how they go from being so sweet to tearing your face off, just like that, and it’s amazing to have that range.

-Carole Baskin

The big cat people are backstabbing pieces of s@#t.

(First ten seconds of the series)

We say no to drugs, because drugs make your teeth fall out and you get really ugly and don’t have any friends.

-Joe Exotic

You may now kiss the grooms.

-Preacher at Joe’s wedding to Travis

GUESS WHAT MOTHER F@#KER

-Joe Exotic

Jeff conned everyone because he’s jealous. He’s a little man with a little d@#k… and a limp and he’s bald and he’s got to pay everyone to have sex with him.

I can almost promise you some of you will be urinated on.

-Joe Exotic

Hey all you cool cats and kittens!

-Carole Baskin

This is my little town. I’m the mayor, the prosecutor, the cop, and executioner.

—Joe Exotic

I had to throw a potato from the living room to the dining room just to run out the door.

-Carole Baskin

He was like a mythical character living out in the middle of bumf@#k Oklahoma who owned 1200 tigers and lions and bears and s@#t.

-Rick Kirkham

There is a god. Her name is Karma and she has a sick sense of humor.

-Don’s Attorney

Political condoms. Vote for me or you’ll need these because you’re screwed.

-Joe Exotic

Some people say that I’m the prototype for Scarface.

-Mario Tabraue

He’s a completely insane, gay, gun-toting, drug-addict fanatic.

-Doc Antle

They want the lion’s share but they don’t want to share the lions.

-Doc Antle

Joe’s ego was so big… too big for his little body.

-Rick Kirkman

I don’t think we’re done blowing s@#t up today.

-Joe Exotic