Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
Stepping outside into natural light and realising that your makeup’s a little on the heavy side.
Is there a Manicures for Dummies for dummies?
Having absolutely no luck with your home waxing kit…
…until you accidentally get some wax on your face, then try to remove it.
Leaving coconut oil on your hair until it hardens and turns your hair crispy.
Then refuses to wash out.
The singular sting of using a salt scrub on shaved skin.
Getting shampoo in your eyes.
Slipping on conditioner in the shower.
Accidentally smearing eye cream onto your contact lenses.
Getting your hair stuck in the back of your hairdryer.
Hair tong burns on your temples.
Having perfectly straightened hair except for the massive wavy section you can’t see at the back of your head.
One perfectly manicured hand, one that looks as though it was done by the Hulk.
Applying eyeliner to one eye in a perfect cat-eye, and to the other in the style of a convincing bruise.
Plucking one eyebrow correctly but somehow turning the other into a lopsided Nike swoosh.
Being half covered in glitter, even though the last time you bought glitter makeup was 2002.
Accidentally amputating your eyelashes when you’re curling them and the doorbell rings.
Poking your eyeball with a mascara wand.
Twice.
Sticking your eyelids shut with eyelash glue while your false eyelashes escape across your face.
Getting body lotion all over your clothes.
And the wind blinds you by supergluing your hair to your lip gloss, causing you to fall over AND DIE.
OK, maybe not die.
And finally…
Several hours after you’ve washed your hair, fishing impossibly long hairs out of your bumcrack.
