Babies That Look Way, Way Older Than You

This baby’s turn signal has been on for the last 35 minutes.

Shhhhh. These babies have work at the yard in the morning

The only music this baby listens to is A.M. radio.

This baby came out the womb worried he was going to miss a re-run of Gunsmoke.

This baby keeps calling Vietnam “French Indochina”.

This baby got a lifetime achievement award two days into life.

This baby still prints out directions.

This baby came out the womb offering you a Werther’s Original caramel.

And this baby is old enough to be your dad. He might even be your dad.

This baby just sent you chain mail that started with “Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re”.

This baby has a coupon for every conceivable good/service.

This baby can’t drink milk anymore because of what it “does to the pipes”.

This baby knows how to fill out a W-2.

This baby’s favorite hobby is saving receipts.

This baby is on the cover of this month’s AARP magazine.

This baby won’t stop explaining the rules of Cribbage to me.

This baby won’t stop talking about how much milk cost back in his day.

This baby’s favorite topic of discussion is room temperature.

This baby hasn’t driven over 20 MPH for four decades.