Friday , 20 September 2019

How Could You Not Know It?

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I was convinced cheese grew on bushes till 12-13 years old. My brother is really proud of this.

Didnt learn until I was 20.

White meat and dark meat come from the same chicken.

Martha’s Vineyard isn’t just some land that rich people went to that was owned by Martha Stewart.

That guys didn’t have to squeeze their d@#ks to get their pee out.

That IHOP is the International House of Pancakes.

I never made the connection that they were the same thing, so until recently I thought the International House of Pancakes was like a hall of fame-type museum restaurant…for pancakes.

I was circumcised. I never knew I was circumcised until I went to the pediatrician and my mom told the pediatrician that I was circumcised.

That my cat didn’t go back to the pet store when it was sick. I had even heard all the jokes about pets “going to the farm.” Still didn’t strike me till waaay too late.

That I was in fact NOT missing a testicle. Thought there was supposed to be 3 until I was like 14 years old.

Ellen the Generous

I thought buffalos were birds, and buffalo wings were from said birds

Pickles are pickled cucumbers.

Took me over 30 years to figure that one out.

I thought Gwen Stefani’s name was Gwence Defani until I was like 20 lol

That the ribs my siblings and I ate as kids were not from velociraptors. My dad and mom had always called them velociraptor ribs for some reason and I guess we just figured our dad was so big and awesome that it made sense that he would often go out and kill dinosaurs for us to eat.

I don’t think I found out until I was in junior high that they were just regular ribs.

That Washington D.C wasn’t in the state of Washington…

That Martin Luther King Jr. was never president. I found out I was wrong when Obama became president.

Thought an orgasm and an organism were the same thing.

Gave an entire speech to my class at 13 years old, first month at a new school, about how I wanted to be a marine biologist and work with marine orgasms. Everyone was laughing and I didn’t know why. The teacher didn’t say anything just laughed along as well. A girl I’d just made friends with had to fill me in after class.

Turns out, they are definitely not the same thing.

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