Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
When I first watched Bad Santa, I was kind of leery of the premise. No one would ever think of using Santa as a means to commit crimes – he’s a sacred legend.
As it turns out, Santa’s the best costume to commit shenanigans. Unless you’re these guys. These guys are probably the most idiotic Bad Santa’s out there.
Just stay Ho-ho-home you costume wearing criminals!
Santa in Sunglasses robs a bank
In Nashville, TN, a 6-foot man dressed in a Santa Suit, beard and black Ray Bans came into a bank with a gun, and demanded money back in 2003. What’s creepy is that he was jolly and jovial the entire time, joking that he was taking out money to pay his elves.
He then got serious and told everyone that he’d be back if there were dye packs in the bills, and this time, people would get the gift of bullets.
The FBI was put on the case, but as of today, he’s still at large.
Mall Santa solicits kids online
This guy belongs on a very special episode of To Catch a Predator. In Mayflower, AK, a 50-year old man named James Grey Daniel, who worked as a mall Santa, started contacting what he thought was a 13-year old girl on Yahoo Instant Messenger.
They set up a time to meet, and he was greeted by police. As it turns out, there was no girl, only special investigators from the Mayflower PD.
Santa’s lap is never gonna feel like a happy place again.
Santa attacks a 74-Year-old woman with a 2×4
This sounds like a scene from 1974’s Silent Night, Deadly Night, but it actually happened. Outside a shopping centre in Hartford, CT, a woman was attacked by Santa back in 2004.
Allegedly, the woman had stolen a few boxes of hershey kisses from Santa, so he chased her down and administered some workshop justice. Except there was no evidence that she stole anything in the first place.
The Santa Burglar was caught in the chimney
Also in 2004, in Long Beach, CA, a burglar found himself stuck in a chimney. Evidently he was stuck for half an hour until someone heard him and called the Fire Department.
After being pulled out by a rope, he was charged with attempted burglary and arrested. Luckily enough no one was home, but can you imagine if no one found him. I’d be like that story from Gremlins with the dad that died in the chimney.
Santa shows off his yule log and decorative balls
At the Rockingham Park Mall in MA, Santa was arrested for flashing some teenagers.
Fortunately for the mall, it wasn’t their Santa that was being lewd, but a random guy dressed up like Old Saint Nick, with a flashing fetish.
Santa gets arrested for disorderly conduct
At a parade in Norfolk, UK, Father Christmas was arrested for getting into a fist fight with a teen – in front of all the children.
Local kids were traumatized to not only see Santa get into a fight, but also get arrested. I bet it led to some awkward questions about Christmas, if Santa was in jail.
Creepy Santa chases kids on a unicycle offering candy canes
Apparently, this guy was known to police, and they called him “Creepy Santa” – aka Anthony Russo. He apparently was hiding in some bushes, with a unicycle covered in jingle bells and a box of candy. When he saw a 12-year old girl, he jumped out and started chasing her. People noticed and called the police and he was arrested.
A fucking unicycle? Really?
Seems like Santa’s a popular disguise for bank robbers
In St. Nicholas, FL, a man dressed as Santa entered a bank branch, fired a warning shot, took some money and escaped.
This was back in 2011 and he’s yet to be caught. Either Santa’s got the best costume for a clean getaway, or there’s some cash flow issues at the North Pole we don’t know about.
Santa gets a drunk and disorderly
Tom Arnold (not that one), was on his way home from a holiday party, and in his drunken joy, decided to share his mirth with the neighbourhood.
Yelling at kids, asking them where his reindeer were, and reeking of alcohol, he was scaring the kids, so the police were called.
At least the kids weren’t completely convinced that Santa was off the rails. According to them, Santa doesn’t drink.
Santa pulls off an ‘Oceans Eleven’ style heist
Taking place in Papua New Guinea, a man dressed up as Santa, hired an elf to carry his presents and infiltrated a building by telling security that they were hired for a holiday party.
Once upstairs, they pulled out a gun and robbed everyone, getting away with $20K and just walked out of the building. Witnesses couldn’t identify either man.
Santa caught peeing in a parking garage
Apparently, with all the houses he stops at, Santa didn’t think to hit up a toilet, because a mall parking garage security camera found him watering a car.
He then stumbles away and falls, hitting his head on a parked car and sleeping it off.
Santa accidentally kidnaps a kid
This isn’t so much a case of “Bad Santa” so much as “Oblivious Santa.” In Augusta, GA, an 8-year-old girl was waiting outside of a gas station when a man in a Santa suit asked her if she wanted to go for a ride on his motorcycle.
John Michael Barton is known in the area for dressing up and putting a stuffed reindeer in his sidecar and giving rides. He’s been doing this for years, since his wife died, and normally, he just rides with adults. He admits that he didn’t know what he was thinking with the girl.
Once she got on, her family tore after them in their car, and Barton was arrested and hung up his Santa suit shortly after.
