Back in 1963, Lampitt was working as a real estate agent. On his way to show a house, he plowed head on into a truck while driving his new Thunderbird.

Minnesota resident Arthur Lampitt rang in 2015 in an unusual way. Instead of going out and celebrating with drinks, he was rolled into a surgical theater to remove something that had been embedded in his body for years.

Lampitt underwent minor surgery right before the new year to remove a 7-inch piece of a former car from his left forearm. It had been embedded in his arm since a near fatal car accident in 1963.

The accident was so terrible that the local radio station began calling it a fatal crash before learning that Lampitt had survived.

Lampitt’s hip was badly broken in the crash, but his arm (at least on the surface) looked fine. He was taken to the hospital, and patched up. No one suspected that anything happened with his arm.

Then one day in Lampitt was doing some work at a court house and his arm kept setting off the metal detector. That’s when he knew something was amiss. X-rays found that there was a long, slender, metal object embedded below his skin. Since the object didn’t seem to be bothering Lampitt, his doctors advised doing nothing.

Then in late 2014, something shifted in Lampitt’s arm and he began to feel a sharp pain. After a couple of days the pain began to move, and something started bulging under his skin. That’s when he began to suspect that the pain had something to do with his accident all those years ago. Lampitt contacted a friend who had taken pictures of the crash scene. Sure enough the blinker lever was missing from the car.

Within a matter of days Lampitt was under the knife, having the old turn signal switch removed from his arm before it could cause any damage.

Since his surgery, Lampitt has made a full recovery and still has full use of his left arm. I’d like to know why the turn signal didn’t become massively infected while it was embedded under Lampitt’s skin.

The post He Was In A Car Crash In 1963, But In 2014 Doctors Discovered Something Shocking appeared first on Barnorama.

Historians estimate that catacombs were probably first constructed sometime around the 16th century. However it wasn’t until the 1800s that they reached the size they are today.

You’re probably pretty familiar with the Paris Catacombs, Capuchin Catacombs, and even the London Catacombs. But did you know that they all pale in comparison to the catacombs underneath the city of Odessa in Ukraine?

Under the streets of Odessa are more than 1,500 miles of underground tunnels, the result of almost a century of mining. The Odessa Catacombs have had a pretty colorful history over the years, but were officially sealed off by the government in 1980.

The city of Odessa sits on a large quarry of limestone. In the 1800s, large scale mining operations were launched underneath the city. They removed limestone which was used to build the city above ground.

During this time the catacombs quickly expanded in size to cover more than 1,500 miles. This huge labyrinth of empty tunnels would soon come in handy for the residents of Odessa.

During World War II, the Nazis forced the Soviets out of Odessa and occupied it. The tunnels served as protection for Soviet rebels. They hid underground, tormenting the Nazis occupying the city while staying safe.

Throughout the war, the Nazis never managed to successfully root out the rebels hiding in the tunnels.

After World War II, the tunnels were used by smugglers. These smugglers even partially expanded the catacombs in some places.

Finally, though, in 1980 the government of Odessa decided to close the catacombs for good. They sealed the entrances, but did not make it illegal to explore the tunnels. It wasn’t long before an unofficial tradition secretly exploring parts of the catacombs sprung up.

In 2005, tragedy struck. It was then that locals learned the catacombs were sealed off for a reason. To ring in the new year, a group of Odessa teens decided to party in the catacombs. During the party, one girl was separated from the group and unable find her way back. She spent the next three days wandering through the catacombs in complete, freezing darkness before collapsing and dying of dehydration.

Her body was found by a group of catacombs explorers in April 2005. However, it could not be removed by the police until 2007 because she was so far from any exit. This is what her body looked like when she was first discovered.

The Odessa Catacombs look like a fascinating place to visit, but not without an experienced guide. You don’t want to end up like that poor girl. Just imagine being drunk at a NYE party underground, then getting lost, and abandoned by your friends to die there alone in complete darkness. I can’t think of a worse fate.

The post What Happened To This Girl After She Went To A Party In The Catacombs Of Odessa, Ukraine Is Just Hea appeared first on Barnorama.

It isn’t abnormal for animals or humans be born with genetic mutations. After all, different hair colors, eye colors and other traits are all genetic mutations. Sometimes, though, nature gets a little out of control and we end up with some genuine freaky oddities.

Like these animals. Most of them are happy and healthy, but there’s something about them that’s a little off (or maybe way off). From cute to creepy, all of these animals experienced a genetic mutation.

Sana Saida: This 2 headed calf was born in Morocco in 2013. The calf is miraculously still alive, despite the two heads.

Giant oarfish: This 18 foot-long oarfish was found in California. They are extremely rare and are the largest bony fish species.

Zonkey: Ippo the zonkey is the only one of his kind in Italy, a rare hybrid between a donkey and a zebra.

Frankenstein rabbit: This rabbit was photographed in the wild. Scientists believe that he is infected with the papilloma virus, resulting in the growths on his face.

Giant pink slugs: The pink slugs were found in New South Wales, Australia. They are fluorescent, almost like they were painted.

Six legged calf: Lilli was born in Switzerland with 2 extra legs, where she is quite popular.

Blue lobsters: Blue lobsters are a result of a rare genetic defect, but are like other lobsters.

Calico lobsters: There are also calico lobsters, another rare (and delicious) lobster.

Beyonce: This Dachshund mix may be the world’s smallest dog. She fit into a spoon when she was born.

Insulamon Palawanense crab: This neon crab was found near the Philippines. Its kind is a relatively new species that was discovered.

Leaf chameleon: These species in Madagascar may be the smallest in the world, making even geckos look giant.

Polydactyl cats: This 9 month-old cat has 20 toes, just shy of having the Guiness World Record. This mutation is fairly common, but still incredible to see.

Purple squirrel: This squirrel with a purple hue was caught recently in Pennsylvania, delighting people online.

Cyclops albino shark: Once thought to be a hoax, this shark was announced to be real. He was found in the belly of a pregnant bull shark.

Oriental yeti: The strange animal was caught in the woodlands of China; scientists are currently trying to determine just what kind of animal (possibly with mange) it is.

Strawberry crab: This darling little crustacean was found near Taiwan and is a relatively new species of crab, named because of its resemblance to a strawberry.

Cat Ba Leopard Gecko: Discovered in Vietnam, this creepy gecko is one of those animals that just screams “don’t touch me.”

Conjoined diamondback rattlesnakes: Found in Arizona at a construction site, these twins were taken to a vet and separated. Unfortunately, the lame snake didn’t survive.

2-nosed rabbit: This sweetheart has two noses, each with two nostrils, but that just means there’s more of her to love.

770lb stingray: This giant ray was found in Thailand, a rare sight. He was later released, but it’s amazing rays can get THIS big.

New (old) penguin species: The Waitaha penguin was thought to be extinct 500 YEARS ago. It suddenly reapppeared… where have you been hiding?

We’re all unique in our own ways. People with heterochromia iridium have different colored eyes and it’s absolutely beautiful. So, albino sharks with one eye? They’re kind of beautiful in their own way (if you like nightmares, that is). Share this list of creepy crawly oddities by clicking on the Share button below.

The post Odd Animals That Are Stranger Than Fiction. Can’t Be For Real, OMG appeared first on Barnorama.

The celebulge, if you will.

All bulges are ranked and measured on a scale of zero to five Jon Hamms. Each celebulge was evaluated on its outline, girth, and prominence to determine its rank and the number of Hamms it deserved.

21. The Taylor Lautner

Why it’s important: You won’t need your 3D glasses for this one. Taylor’s shark boy sets the precedent of what it really means to be a toned and defined bulge in Hollywood. Although this bulge is on the perky side, it lacks girth circumference that makes for a five-Hamm bulge.

Bulge Rating: ½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

20. The Darren Criss

Why it’s important: Although we have no doubt this gleeful bulge has the potential to make you feel like you’re living a teenage dream, it has room for growing in those spacious sweatpants.

Bulge Rating: ½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

19. The Zac Efron

Why it’s important: Although a little underwhelming and disappointing in outline and stature, Efron’s bulge is a nice accent to the rest of his body. Dave Franco can’t even resist taking a peek at this one.

Bulge Rating: 1 out of 5 Jon Hamms

18. The Joe Jonas

Why it’s important: The most underrated fourth member of the Jonas Brothers is also arguably the most talented member of the late band. Despite this Jonas bulge’s appealing onstage presence, Hamm is packing nearly double of this brother.

Bulge Rating: 1 out of 5 Jon Hamms

17. The Prince Harry

Why it’s important: I mean, there are bigger bulges on the list, but IT’S A ROYAL BULGE. LOOK AT THAT CHARMING PRINCE BULGE.

Bulge Rating: 1½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

16. The David Henrie

Bulge Rating: 1½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

15. The Ricky Martin

Why it’s important: This bulge didn’t fully blossom until it split off from boy band Menudo back in the late ’80s. The charisma this bulge has developed over a long career is unbeatable… Well, maybe a little beatable. Livin’ la vida loca in the presence of this bulge!

Bulge Rating: 2 out of 5 Jon Hamms

14. The Spider-Man (Andrew Garfield)

Why it’s important: If the webs that shoot from these fingertips can save lives, imagine what the webs from this super bulge could do! Peter, park in here, please.

Bulge Rating: 2 out of 5 Jon Hamms

13. The David Beckham

Why it’s important: You don’t get your own underwear line with a mediocre bulge. This bulge has nice curves and fills out any underwear properly. You know what they say: “Bulge like Beckham!”

Bulge Rating: 2 out of 5 Jon Hamms

12. The Jake Gyllenhaal

Why it’s important: We’re just gonna go ahead and say this bulge could probably save someone’s life with a little mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Who would want to live a day after tomorrow without it?

Bulge Rating: 2½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

11. The Jamie Foxx

Why it’s important: Don’t blame the sight of this bulge on the alcohol, IT’S REAL LIFE, PEOPLE. Unchained or tucked away under clothes, this is one beautiful bulge.

Bulge Rating: 2½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

10. The Mario Lopez

9. The Ryan Gosling

Why it’s important: I mean, it’s attached to Ryan Gosling.

The post The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time appeared first on Barnorama.

According to prosecutors, on Saturday morning, Morgan E. Geyser and Anissa E. Weier, both 12, from southeastern Wisconsin stabbed their 12-year-old friend 19 times.

They were charged as adults with attempted first-degree intentional homicide.

One of the girls told detectives that they were trying to become “proxies” of Slender Man, a popular creepy internet meme regularly written about online.

During the attack, the girls only missed a major artery near their friend’s heart by a millimeter, according to reports. The victim is currently in stable condition.

The two girls invited their friend over for a sleepover on Friday night and then lured her into the woods the next day and began their attack.

According to reports, the girls were planning the attack for months.

The “Slender Man” myth was started in 2009 on the website Something Awful. It was originally a game to insert creepy monsters into the backgrounds of photos.

It’s gone on to inspire thousands of videos on YouTube and several video games. The idea is that he’s a faceless man with tentacle arms who kidnaps children.

A passing cyclist who found the victim lying on the sidewalk called in the attack. If convicted, the 12-year-olds face up to 64 years in prison.

The girls were charged in Waukesha County Circuit Court as adults with attempted first-degree intentional homicide and are being held on $500,000 bail each.

The post Two 12-Year-Old Girls Stabbed Their Friend 19 Times, Saying Internet Meme “Slender Man” Told Them To appeared first on Barnorama.

Someone get this cat a medal.

A cat in Bakersfield, Calif., potentially saved a boy’s life when it staved off a vicious dog attack, and the whole rescue was caught on surveillance video.

A dog belonging to a neighbor comes around a car and sneaks up on the boy.

The dog runs up to the boy and viciously attacks him, dragging him down the pavement by the leg.

Suddenly, the family cat, Tara, rushes out and knocks the dog off the boy, saving him.

Tara even makes sure the dog gets the message that it’s not welcome.

The boy’s mother told KERO-TV that he was fine, but needed a few stitches.

The post Watch This Fearless Cat Save A Boy From A Vicious Dog Attack appeared first on Barnorama.

The fight appears to have happened last week after the Met Gala.

According to TMZ, an elevator security camera in the Standard Hotel picked up an altercation between Solange Knowles and Jay Z.

In the video, Solange attempts to kick Jay Z, who then catches Solange’s foot.

A security guard in the elevator hits the emergency stop switch, mid-floor.

The security guard holds back Solange as Beyoncé stands in the elevator the whole time without getting involved physically.

Watch the whole video here:

The post Shocking Video Surfaces Of Jay Z Being Physically Attacked By Solange Knowles In An Elevator appeared first on Barnorama.

 This is what Hell’s Kitchen really looks like.

It’d be impossible for everyone to be a gourmet chef. Some people specialize in microwaved meals while others are awesome at boiling water and adding noodles. These 21 people, however, are so terrible at cooking they shouldn’t be legally allowed in the kitchen. Just boiling water would be an issue for them.
Their cooking fails are so epic and so terrible, they nearly defy the laws of physics. How did any of this happen?

 I can’t even imagine what they were going for here.

You know it’s bad when this wasn’t meant to be BBQ.

You may get diabetes from just looking at that.

HOW do you make cookie dough do this?!

Mmm. Burned everything.

P.S. That’s now how you cook a pizza.

I hope someone has takeout handy. And a fire extinguisher.

Are those… nachos?

This is so bad, science can’t even explain it.

When cinnamon rolls go bad.

These kind of look edible?

I just feel bad for these cake pops.

When cooking, please avoid burning down the house.

Oops-meal.

Pineapple upside-down-and-exploded cake! Yum!

This is why you shouldn’t boil eggs for hours.

How does one mess up Ramen noodles?

Angry, angry cookie monster…

Pro tip: quesadillas should have more than black beans inside.

This is NOT how you make sticky sushi rice.

When these people cook, this is what happens.

D’oh.

So take pity on those who are cuisine-challenged. It’s not their fault. It’s not a choice. They were born this way… so buy them a box of Pop Tarts and share this article.

The post These 21 People Failed So Hard At Cooking They Should Be Banned From The Kitchen. OMG. appeared first on Barnorama.

How about Zayn Malik professing his undying love?
It’s getting hot in here.

Does this GIF of Chris Hemsworth smiling adorably make your ovaries explode?

No? How about Channing Tatum telling you you’re beautiful?

Ryan Gosling scrunching his nose?

 Idris Elba drinking from this cup?

Austin Butler biting his lip?

How about a proposition from John Krasinski?

Jeremy Irvine flashing his dimples.

Dylan O’Brien cuddling a puppy.

And a half-dressed Harry Shum Jr.

Do Hugh Jackman’s abs do anything for you?

How about Cam Gigandet’s sex face?

Godfrey Gao being Flawless

Matt Bomer biting a pen.

Beau Mirchoff smiling right at you.

Chris Evans boxing.

And Nick Jonas emerging from the water.

How you doing? Need some Harry Styles winking?

Prefer a more mature guy?

Try some Brad Pitt.

Or some Alexander Skarsgard.

And definitely some Robert Downey Jr.

Henry Cavill being shirtless.

Taylor Kitsch being shirtless.

Kit Harington being mostly shirtless.

The Stenmark twins being doubly shirtless.

How are those ovaries? Are they immune to Dave Franco with a kitty?

Gavin Dunne eating something?

Jason Momoa running his fingers through his beautiful hair?

Jesse Williams in the shower?

Or Jon Kortajarena nuzzling a baby tiger?

So… how’d you do?

The post Can You Make It Through This Post Without Your Ovaries Exploding? appeared first on Barnorama.

WTF?!

And you thought the rabbit from Donnie Darko was creepy.

By the look on his face, this bunny is ready to eat this little boy.

That baby’s face says it all!

And this little girl’s body language says it all.

Also, who the hell designed that bunny’s sinister face?!

This photo was taken moments before that kid became that bunny’s lunch.

Um, excuse me, Mr. Bunny, but everything you’re doing is wildly inappropriate.

OMG, THOSE EYES!!!

A repurposed gimp mask makes an excellent Easter bunny costume!

OK, this is just a reused Wolfman costume.

By the look of his eyes, this rabbit definitely has a nose candy problem.

And by the look on this bunny’s face, he definitely has a drinking problem.

Wait, WTF, are those snake tongues coming out of his mouth?!

This has to be an old-timey villain dressed up as a bunny, right?

Is this the unholy offspring of the Easter bunny and an Ewok?!

That bunny has one shady smile on his face.

 If you ever wondered what the Trix bunny would look like if he was part of The Walking Dead:

 Um… HELL NO!!!

Look at this bunny; you know he is plotting to kill Superman.

This bunny will haunt your dreams!

Sweet dreams!

The post Vintage Easter Bunny Photos That Will Make Your Skin Crawl appeared first on Barnorama.

THIS SHOULD HAPPEN AT EVERY AWARD SHOW.

Zac won the award for Best Shirtless Performance (obviously, there was NO competition).

But he was wearing his shirt, and Rita Ora knew that had to be fixed.

And after she ripped off his buttons and exposed his beautiful torso, she tried to put it back on…

But Zac, man of the people, knew better.

HE KNEW WHAT WE NEEDED. HE RIPPED THAT DUMB, STUPID SHIRT OFF AND THREW IT ON THE FLOOR WHERE IT BELONGS.

And he flexed. Oh my god he flexed so hard.

And gave us the double salute, while he just stood there.

Then he gave another salute because he knew that he just made America proud.

*wipes dribble off chin*

He also did this lip thinggggggsjkndflgjmslkdfjgmlskdjgfmlsg.

AND THEN SENT US KISSES AND WE ALL DIED.

And thank you, Rita Ora, for being an outstanding citizen of the world by doing what you did.

The post The Only Thing You Need To See From The MTV Movie Awards Is Zac Efron’s Shirt Getting Ripped Off appeared first on Barnorama.

Scared of spiders? Maybe score Australia off your bucket list.

The post Reasons Why Arachnophobes Should Give Australia A Miss appeared first on Barnorama.

These incredibly creepy Santas don’t care if you’re naughty or nice.

This Santa knows that Christmas is an excellent day for an exorcism.

…So you better watch out. Seriously. Do as the song says. It’s for your own safety.

RIP Andy Rooney, you were one scary Santa Claus.

…He knows when you’re awake…

This photo was taken at the exact moment this child realized his life was in danger.

After this photo was taken, Santa dropped dead of sadness.

The corpse of Santa looks good!

Nope, none of this is sketchy at all.

This might be the most uncomfortable Santa photo I have ever seen.

A DIY costume gone terribly, terribly wrong.

…he knows if you’ve been bad or good…

He sees you when you’re sleeping…

Clearly, Santa’s been a naughty, naughty boy!

Those boots! The Mickey and Minnie gimp masks! Santa is into some kinky shit.

And this photo was taken the exact moment this little girl realized Santa isn’t real.

I really hope Santa didn’t give him that balloon.

The post Santa Claus Photos That Will Make Your Skin Crawl appeared first on Barnorama.

A new mother recently asked Reddit, “What is the most disturbing thing your kid has said when talking about their ‘imaginary friend’?”

The post Creepiest Things Kids Have Said About Their “Imaginary Friends” appeared first on Barnorama.

1. Zhangye Danxia landform in Gansu, China

The rainbow formation is the result of red sandstone and mineral deposits being laid down for over 24 million years, according to the Telegraph.

2. The swing at the “End of the World” in Baños, Ecuador

The Great Blue Hole is a submarine sinkhole off the coast of Belize. It’s one of the top scuba diving sites in the world and the water is 407 feet deep.

4. Tulip fields in the Netherlands

Many people often mistake Keukenhof, also known as the Garden of Europe, as the designated space of the tulip fields. However, these majestic fields are located just outside the garden and are mostly privately owned.

5. The Hang Son Doong cave in Quang Binh Province, Vietnam

Son Doong is the world’s largest cave, created 2–5 million years ago. A half-mile block of 40-story buildings could fit inside it!

6. Hitachi Seaside Park in Hitachinaka, Ibaraki, Japan

The park is in full bloom during spring and tourists often visit to see 4.5 million “baby blue-eyes” flowers blossom.

7. Mendenhall Ice Caves of Juneau in Alaska, United States

The cave lies beneath the Mendenhall Glacier and it melts as you walk through it.

8. Mount Roraima in Venezuela, Brazil, and Guyana

The tabletop mountains are considered some of the oldest geological formations on Earth, dating back to roughly 2 million years ago. The mountain also serves as a triple border for Brazil, Guyana, and Venezuela.

9. Ancient Region of Anatolia in Cappadocia, Turkey

The area has become a popular tourist area and a favorite spot for hot air ballooning.

10. Sea of Stars on Vaadhoo Island in the Maldives

What may appear as a mirror image of the stars above, the bioluminescence in the water is actually due to marine microbes called phytoplankton. The effect it has on the shore is absolutely breathtaking.

11. Victoria Falls bordering Zimbabwe and Zambia in Africa

This 355-foot waterfall lies at the border of Zambia and Zimbabwe and it is the widest waterfall in Africa. There’s also a famous feature on the Zambian side called the Devil’s Pool, which allows adventurous tourists to hang out at the edge of the falls.

12. Trolltunga in Hordaland, Norway

Trolltunga is a piece of rock that hangs out of the mountain about 2,000 feet up in the air. The Troll’s Tongue (translation in English) is available to hikers from mid-June to about mid-September.

13. Whitehaven Beach at Whitsunday Island in Australia

This beach is known for its beautiful white sands, which are believed to have been brought to the beach from sea currents over millions of years. The sand is very fine and does not retain heat, making it comfortable for a barefoot walk along the shore. It can also damage electronics, so keep your cell phones and cameras in a safe place!

14. The Grand Canyon in Arizona, United States

This magnificent beauty is 277 miles long and 18 miles wide, and is considered one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World.

15. Marble Caves at General Carrera Lake in Patagonia (Argentina and Chile)

The Marble Caves, known as Marble Chapel and Marble Cathedral, are located at the center of the lake and were formed by waves over the past 6,000 years.

16. Tunnel of Love in Klevan, Ukraine

This railway engulfed in a tunnel of leaves is a Pinterest favorite and a Ukrainian hot spot for lovers. Although it’s undoubtedly romantic, there is an active train that travels through the tunnel three times a day to deliver wood to a factory. Just beware of the train before snapping engagement photos!

17. Salar De Uyuni in the Potosí and Oruro departments of southwest Bolivia

This is the world’s largest salt flat. It also becomes a giant mirror of the sky during the rainy season.

18. Enchanted Well at Chapada Diamantina in Bahia, Brazil

Located at Chapada Diamantina National Park, this well’s water is 120 feet deep and is clear enough to see the rocks.

19. Antelope Canyon in Arizona, United States

Located near Page, Ariz., this brilliant slot canyon is split into two different sections, commonly referred to as “The Crack” and “The Corkscrew.”

20. Fingal’s Cave on the island of Staffa in Scotland

Although it may seem like this block structure is man-made, it was actually formed by hexagonally jointed basalt columns within a Paleocene lava flow.

The post Surreal Places To Visit Before You Die appeared first on Barnorama.

When I say that this drug is flesh-eating, I mean that it rots your skin while you’re alive and this post contains photos of what that looks like. WARNING: very graphic images.

gLopez.jpg” alt=”Flesh-Eating-Drug-Krokodil” />

The post Russia’s Flesh-Eating Drug Krokodil Has Arrived In The U.S. And Here’s Why That Should Scare You appeared first on Barnorama.

No, really, you need to see Scott Eastwood’s extremely sexy Town and Country shoot.

Seriously.

Look at him. Being all sexy and smoking a cigar.

Lucky bitch.

Life isn’t fair.

That’s all.

The post Holy Crap, Clint Eastwood’s Son Is Super Hot appeared first on Barnorama.

Reddit users were asked for the best horror story they could come up in two sentences.

The post Absolutely Terrifying Two Sentence Horror Stories appeared first on Barnorama.

God bless Superman and his big, beautiful muscles.

The post Here’s Henry Cavill Working Out Shirtless And Becoming A Real Life Man Of Steel appeared first on Barnorama.

Stick to pools.

First of all, the ocean is deep as fuck.

So deep, we’re actually not sure how deep it is, which is terrifying to think about.

What we do know is that the pressure is so intense, no human* could make it even a quarter of the way down without THIS happening to his or her body:

Unless you’re James Cameron and you can afford to build a pressure-resistant robot to take you to the bottom of the ocean.

This is what most of the ocean looks like:

Pitch-frickin’-black. If you’re afraid of the dark, I don’t recommend going to the bottom of the ocean.

It’s probably better that it’s dark down there because THIS is the kind of shit you’d see:

It’s a mix of hell and outer space.

I mean, there are ROLY-POLIES the size of your HEAD.

And SEA SPIDERS you’d need a bed sheet to squish!

Which proves there’s nowhere to hide from spiders.

And SEA WORMS big enough to use as jump ropes!

Slimy, slimy jump ropes.

And whatever the hell THIS is:

It’s called a frill shark. They should have called it Satan.

Scientists estimate that up to 80% of all living things live in the ocean.

So think of every animal you’ve ever seen on land and multiply that by, like, a billion.

Since there is no sunlight, there are no plants. So nearly everything down there preys on FLESH.

Here are starfish ravaging a whale carcass. Remember when starfish were cute? Me neither.

Every freakfish in the deep sea is just swimming around, chomping on anything it can find.

This is a goblin shark and it lives in the pitch-black waters of your nightmares.

What I’m getting at is this: Nearly everything has teeth.

AGJDSKLGJLSKDGJASGLKJ!

It’s a frickin’ hellscape down there. There are vents of boiling-hot sulfuric acid that would take your face clean off your skull.

And creepy little organisms live in those vents! Because ocean critters don’t give a fuck about anything!

It literally snows shit.

Just a constant steady flurry of fecal matter, organic material, and bacteria.

And there are little to no standards of reality. For example, this is a barreleye:

And those tennis balls of goop you see through its transparent head are its EYES. (The black dots are nostrils; Lord have mercy).

The worst part is we’ve only explored less than 5% of the ocean.

We have better maps of Mars than of the ocean floor.

So basically, we don’t even know what the fuck is down there.

Which is why NO ONE should fuck with the ocean.

The post Why No One Should Mess With The Ocean appeared first on Barnorama.