The Worst Way To Breakup With Someone According To Science

Dude sent me a screen shot of him with my girl laying on his chest on Valentine’s Day while I was overnight in a hotel for work many hours away. -@AHobosBandAid

Christmas Eve my ex got all of her gifts because we wouldn’t see each other the next day because she would be “busy”. Turns out she had been cheating on me with another guy and she just wanted to get her gifts. After packing everything she says oh yea we are done I’m seeing someone else and left. We were together for several years and engaged at that point but at least I got the ring back. -@Airbornesm

By not even communicating the breakup but still communicating with them, while slowly becoming less and less talkative until they finally figure out that the relationship is over on their own. It’s slow torture. Just be honest and straight forward. -@WilhelmGeistmeister

By notarized letter. -@hockeypeg18

Go into a public place and act like everything is normal. Then pat yourself down as if your looking for something. Start frantically looking under and inside of random objects. When you feel an appropriate amount of time has past go back and tell em you’ve lost your feelings for them. -@Ka_Wawae

Back in high school (20ish years ago) I remember hearing about a couple having the following phone conversation:

Guy: Hey, guess who broke up today?
Girl: Who?!
Guy: Us! -@a_random_username

hmm…. probably either on the second day of a 7-day trip, or on the second hour of a 9-hour fucking bus ride where you still have to be within 10 feet of each other for the rest of the damn trip.

Not that I’m bitter or anything. -@MC_Lutefisk

Leave and never return, don’t send any messages, block them from all social media, never tell them the reason. Losing someone who you thought was fine with you so suddenly in such a quiet and confusing way will really fuck with someone’s anxiety and self-esteem. -@mathewmilan98

27 years or so ago, my ex wife made love to me, then right after while still lying in bed together in the afterglow she took off her ring and gave it to me and said she wanted a divorce. I couldn’t believe she had done it that way, although I was ready for it to be over. She said she thought it would be the nicest way to do it…I thought it was pretty ruthless…whatever. -@MrStrype

She started making out with another dude while we were at a party, all sitting on the same couch. That deflates the romance pretty quickly. -@HoochieKoochieMan

In a group text. -@blipsman

Make the decision hastily, tell everyone but them.

Ghost them.

Then send them an email to not their primary email that that they don’t check.

Show up at their door step a week later asking to have them back. -@Gregorofthehillpeopl

Tell them that they can spend Christmas in your guest room when they visit because someone else will be staying in their room with them. -@Spazznax

I found out my ex and I weren’t together after he posted an Instagram picture with his best friend of 3 years saying “It only took me 3 years to ask her out” -@jaclyngupta

My college roommate spent an entire weekend with his girlfriend from another state knowing he was going to break up with her. When he took her to drop off at the train station on Sunday, he waited until she was leaning in with the car door open to kiss him goodbye. Broke the news instead of kissing her, didn’t even unbuckle and get out. She stood there stunned with bags on the curb and he closed the door and drove off. -@Corporate-Asset-6375

Bottle it, marry them, then spend 30+ years together. -@MadcapRecap