Things That Happen Only in Movies


  1. “I have never been chased by 25 men all firing automatic weapons and gotten away with only a grazed bullet to the leg.” Well personally, I have never been chased by 25 men all firing automatic weapons, period, end of sentence. You apparently lead a much more exciting life than I do.

  2. Also, I have never fast-forwarded a video or audio recording and heard it go “zip zip chirp chirp”. Any playback device I’ve ever used, the audio always shuts off when you fast forward.

  3. And, I’ve never used a computer where you can zoom in on some tiny object in the background of an image, see the blurred 4 pixels that make up that object, and then type a few keys and suddenly detail magically appears out of nowhere. My favorite was a cop show where they use the video from a store’s security camera, see a car out the window in the parking lot, zoom in on the side mirror of that car, see the reflection of the license plate of the suspect’s car, then the detective says “clarify”, the computer guy hits a few keys, and now they can read the license plate. Umm, yeah.

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