Pants are like prison, but for your legs.
When people who don’t regularly see you naked are at your house.
During any family dinner.
Looking at you, Thanksgiving.
When you are crammed into a small space with other people, and it is a billion degrees.
In a restaurant, waiting for a check.
Sitting in rush hour traffic.
On a long flight.
When your flight gets delayed.
After Mexican food.
When someone dragged you out to a bar that you really wish you weren’t at.
During a long meeting.
When you can’t get comfortable at the movies.
At any outdoor summer wedding.
After you’ve spent an hour trying on clothes.
At work, around 2:30 p.m.
That goes double for 2:30 a.m.
At any concert that isn’t Coachella.
When your upper leg itches and you can’t find a bathroom.
When you’re far from home and it’s unbelievably hot.
When the seams start to dig into your body.
When it’s raining outside and the puddles are soaking your hems.
While you’re on jury duty or waiting at the DMV.
When you’re outside and it suddenly gets really warm, for no reason, WITHOUT WARNING.
When you just want to run and get some food just really super quick.
Can’t take off your pants because of “politeness” and “decency” or whatever.
When it’s snowing outside, and your pants absorb every ounce of snow and the cold sticks to you all day because snow is a dick who hates you.
When your pants start to get wrinkled and stretched out and look terrible because you’ve been wearing them all day and it’s hot and there’s no end in sight.
Any time you desperately wish that you could take off your pants.