Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
Explore real-life stories that expose the strange and unsettling behavior of toxic “nice guys.”
Dude would hit himself in the face when I rejected him. And then pulled the “I guess nice guys always finish last.” like uh nice guys don’t punch themselves in the head in front of a woman when they say no thank you….
A friend of mine for 10 years. I always knew he wanted more, but was always respectful when I said no (sometimes you know a person too well to date them). A mutual friend passed away. He ended up being the one to tell me our friend had passed. He forced hugs on me, told me that eventually I would get “drunk enough” one night and let me inhibitions down and have s*x with him. That he would wear me down eventually. I told him he was giving off r**e vibes and he lost it. I blocked him on everything and have avoided the town where he lives for the past 4 years. Mutual friends think I went too far. Nope, I am a r**e survivor and will not tolerate any of that s**t. Nice guy my a*s.
Invited me over for dinner. There was no food and he was in bed. Worst bait and switch ever!
Most baffling was a guy at work who offered me a lift home. When we got to my place he was all “aren’t you going to invite me in?” And I was like…no? Then he told everyone at work I was a c**k tease lol.
She turned down a date, politely. He said it was okay, he “respected her choice.”The next day, her nudes were leaked online — ones she had only ever sent to a guy she trusted.Turns out, Mr. Nice Guy hacked her cloud “to prove she wasn’t so innocent after all.”
Oh my god there was this guy who I would speak to on my commute. He was very awkward and I made polite small talk but really I just wanted to read my book. Anyway one day he comes up to at the train station and says he saw me out with my husband and kids. He then went mental. Accused me of leading him on, called me a slag, threatened to k**l himself, broke down crying, begged me to leave my husband for hm. Then asked to no one in particular why does this keep happening to him.
Was my friend for 7 years! 7 years! We supported each other in college, studying, he asked and I set him up with a friend, they dated, broke up, I stayed friends with both. Helped each other move at last 5 times, endless resume editing, relationship advice, introduced him to people as my brother. Maximum contact was an occasional hug. Found myself single near a big birthday, while crying about the fresh break up on the phone with him, he decided that I should try dating him, or at least hook up, and that I owed it to him because he’s always been there for me. Excuse me?! I had always been there for him too and I didn’t think anything was owed to me!
Lost one of my friends on a crazy night out in an unfamiliar city. Not picking up her phone. We looked for her for over an hour in a half-mile radius. Finally we got a call from a Nice Guy from the bar who allegedly saw her wandering alone and had brought her to his apartment, heard her phone blowing up and called me back. She was indeed asleep on his couch. We thanked him, packed her up, and went on our way. A couple days later, he called me again to ask me on a date. I politely declined — I had a bf at the time, but would have said no regardless. That was apparently unacceptable, and he told me I owed it to him for not r**ing my friend when he had the chance. Literally, he told me he could have done whatever he wanted to her and didn’t need to call me at all and it was the least I could do to thank him. I let him know that you don’t get a trophy for not r**ing someone… he cussed me out and went on about how he’s a veteran and how dare I and blah blah blah… hung up and blocked him. Entitled creep.
He helped me move brought me coffee and always acted like a great friend until I started dating someone else and he completely flipped called me ungrateful and said I owed him a chance Classic ‘nice guy’ behavior -kindness with conditions.
I was friends with a group of people and closer to one guy in particular. I babysat his kid, he bought me dinner, very give and take type of friendship. One time I’m s******l and really needed to go to the emergency room. Wanted to avoid large ambulance bill so guy I’m close to takes me, afterwards wouldn’t stop hounding me to date him. I said no each time and was met with, “but I took you to the hospital!” It was heavily implied he would have just let me die if he knew ahead of time I would not f**k or date him. How lovely!
Freshman year, a guy in one of my classes offered to tutor me in stats. I said sure—he *was* good at it and I actually needed the help. Every session, he brought me a little gift (coffee, granola bar, handwritten poems… yeah). I tried to tell him it wasn’t necessary but he brushed it off.Then one day I thanked him and said I finally passed the quiz. His response? “Well now you owe me a date. Or at least a makeout session.”I said no. He told everyone I’d been leading him on for *months*. Bro. I was just trying to understand standard deviation.
Joined a gaming group, slowly started to speak to someone and make a close friend. 3 months went on, eventually he said he “like liked” me. I said i didn’t feel the same. He took it well and said he was happy to remain friends. We had exchanged Christmas cards before it all went to hell, so he knew where i lived. Then the little quips of intensity started, until he was calling me 50 times a day, all day every day needed to stay in contact. Slowly chats turned to harrassment every day, making up stories of things I hadn’t done, berating me and blowing up if I didn’t reply within a 30 second window. I tried to cut him off but then it would make it 10x worse to where he was screaming to everyone that he was going to k**l himself if I didn’t speak to him, I was only 18 at the time. It was easier to just keep the peace than to try and get away. Then the gifts started, sending things to my house, turning up at my house multiple times a week even though he lived 300 miles away. He told everybody a completely different story to what he was actually doing to make himself look better and come out on top. It only stopped when I contacted the police. His entire family still blame me.
I used to daily drive a heavily modified, high HP, turbo car. One day the turbo decided to eat itself. No worries. It was on the top in front of the engine, so easy to access. “Guy” was a friend and ONLY a friend of mine, or so I thought, and offered to help. This is important. He OFFERED. I never asked. So he comes by, helps take the turbo out. We hang out, shoot the s**t, drink a beer, or a few, finish up the removal, and he goes on his way. I then send the turbo back for warranty. Turbo comes back maybe a month later. In the meantime, I had just met “FH”, who happened to be a professional mechanic. When I mentioned I couldn’t hang out with him on a weekend day, he asked why, so I explained. He offered to come help with install. I said thank you, and that was that. He came over, helped with install, we grabbed some food after and then he went home. So eventually “guy” asks when we are reinstalling the turbo, and I told him it was already done. He got a little weird but apparently I missed the whole thing. Then he started digging. Like I wasn’t capable of doing the job myself (I am), he eventually kept asking who helped me with the install. I told him “FH”. His reply? “Well I bet he at least got laid for his hard work”. Uh, I guess eventually he did, since we’ve been together for almost 18 years, but not because he helped me do something I *could* do myself. TLDR: nice guy thought that helping me work on my car was going to get him laid, even though I absolutely didn’t need his help.
I once went out with a “nice guy” named Matt who said he loved “soft girls with deep thoughts.” Seemed poetic. Big mistake.On our date, he took me to this weird coffee shop with no menu because “real connoisseurs know what to ask for.” He then ordered for me without asking, because “he could tell what kind of girl I was.”He kept calling me “kitten” the entire time — I had never given him a nickname to use. He asked if I liked guys who cry and when I said “sure, I think it’s healthy,” he launched into a rant about how women “say they want sensitivity but always go for jerks.”
A horrible date with a “nice guy” named Josh back in 2002.We went hiking on our date, he spent the entire time bragging about how smart he was, smarter than everyone he’s ever known, so smart, he knew not to go to a university because community college is just as good for much less. Everyone who goes to a university is an idiot, everyone who doesn’t do things the exact way Josh does them is a low-IQ moron.All of Josh’s co-workers are idiots; he was the best Geek Squad employee in history, and Best Buy would fall apart without him.Josh also had a lot of trouble finding a woman because women often have low IQs and can’t keep up with his intellect. Women are dumb, not me, though, I’m OK.I could not wait to get home and block the guy.Edit: I met him on Yahoo Personals. He came off OK there and we arranged a date after a short conversation.Yes, we had AIM and Yahoo Messenger back then, and that’s where I blocked him. I don’t know where Josh is today, I don’t care. I don’t care what his side of the story is, he was a t**t and probably still is. No, I wasn’t fat.Josh’s attitude and horrible personality are 100% Josh’s fault, not mine.
Someone was “my friend” and they were around me at parties and stuff. I got super drunk at one and I was supposed to feel safe there. What he didn’t know is that I heard him saying (as he put me into his friend’s car) “she’s going to be easy tonight” to said friend. The friend was a gentleman and he laid me in his bed and then went to get his Nintendo switch, sat on the floor and I woke up in time to see him playing and we became best friends. Thankfully he never tried anything and I cut the other guy out of my life.
Knew this guy in my freshman year of college. Super nice, always willing to go out of his way for people. One night I was at a party with him and my girlfriends and we all got completely crunk wasted except for one friend who was DD. Turns out he tried to get me to come home with him, and when my sober friend told him “no, absolutely not,” he went into this whole spiel about how I owed him the s*x and I needed to come home with him. We all got out of there immediately, and I don’t even remember any of it.
He works (still does) in the same lab as me. We’re both from the same part of the world and he insisted he could predict the type of person I was.That I like music. I enjoy spicy food. I want to get married and have kids. No s**t, so does 99% of the world. Kept insisting we had so much in common. Then he asked me out for a team planning meal, but it would only be him and I. My gut told me to run and I told that it wouldn’t be appropriate, especially if it was meant to be a team thing. He tried to laugh it off, saying I was “overthinking it,” that it was just “friendly.”The last straw was when he tried to corner me in the lab, asking personal questions under the guise of “just getting to know a colleague.” I then told him unequivocally that if he needed to talk, make sure it was in email only. It didn’t deter him and it only stopped when HR got involved at my insistence. He stopped asking questions. But the stares didn’t stop. Neither did the weird little comments slipped into casual conversations, like “I know you better than you think” or “You’ll come around.”
When I was in my 20’s, I lived with my male coworker/best friend for a year. I’m a lesbian and had a long distance girlfriend at the time, and they formed their own friendship when she would come to visit. One weekend, I was away for a wedding, and behind my back he moved her into our home. I was shocked when I came back to this “surprise” and she told me he was adamant about how I wanted her to move in, but I was too scared to ask her so he wanted to surprise me. For the record – I did NOT want to live with her at that time. Well, within those first 6 months after she moved in, he was the standard nice guy. We all cohabitated well and formed an amazing friendship with family meals, movie nights and outings. But then one night he said he wanted to have a meeting with us.In a very serious and emotional moment for him, he told us that he wanted us to start a family together and that he would impregnate my girlfriend and we could all spend the rest of our lives living together. We thought he was joking, but he was almost on the verge of tears with how much this would mean to him and was in love with us both. We both shot the idea down and talked privately about how uncomfortable that was.Cut to the following months, he started pitting us against each other, not cleaning up and was telling each other us that the other was cheating. When we eventually decided to move out and eventually broke up, he immediately tried to date her and she ended up cutting contact with him because he was so pushy. We tried to maintain an amicable friendship because we worked together, but he kept making weird sexual comments my way and I eventually got a new job. A year later he asked me to go on a walk so we could try to repair the friendship, and he gave me a letter stating he was in love with us both and he had never imagined dealing with heartbreak from two women. He blamed both of us for failing school, living in a s****y apartment and not being where he wanted to be in life. It was so strange, manipulative and heartbreaking as prior to living together – he was truly one of the “nice guys”.
Matched with a dude on hinge last year, talked for a day or two and exchanged numbers. Sent him a selfie of me without makeup, like just for fun idk it wasn’t flirty or sexual. And he got the metadata from that iPhone photo and sent me a google maps picture of the house I sent it from. Blocked him immediately, and then he somehow used my number or my address to find my full name, and then from there my email address. He sent me an email demanding to know what he did wrong, that he didn’t understand my overreaction…. like dude!!!! Anyways I don’t text anyone off of the apps until after a first date, such a weird situation, and I still can’t believe he sent me an email being like “YOURE the crazy one for reacting like this!!” He was just being nice I guess.
He was a friend and never showed any romantic interest. I worked in a club. He offered to walk me home after work to make sure I’m safe. I declined because had to spend an hour cleaning after closing and didn’t want him waiting that long. He did wait. He walked me home only to go inside then refuse to leave unless I had s*x. Took ages to get him to go. We didn’t have s*x tbc. My main job started at 9am and he knew this but still kept me up because he wouldn’t leave. Think he hoped I’d give in because I was exhausted.
I went on two dates with a guy, and after the second politely told him that I wasn’t feeling anything romantically and didn’t want to continue seeing him.I woke up to 9-10 long paragraph texts about how I was making a mistake, that he would’ve treated me well, most guys aren’t as great as he was, etc. I spent maybe 5 hours total with this dude, including a movie.
Had a guy i knew in high school ask me out. Then faked a s*******m attempt and hospitalization when I turned him down and pretended to be his mom telling me about how he’s so nice and deserves at least one date when he “gets out of the hospital”. Then, when I called him out he said he doesn’t date “pathetic females” like me anyway. Real charmer.
We bought groceries together for a work event and he insisted on putting all the groceries into the car because “I’m superior to him”. I had to nervously laugh my way out of that and say no of course not haha. When we got back into the car he asked if I was in a relationship I said no but that I also wasn’t looking (I was but I had a feeling he was going to ask). He said not even with me? I said haha no not with anyone sorry. He said I was being really rude by not even accepting a date.When we got back to work he complained to everyone that I made him do all the shopping and that I then started name calling in the car. He also said *I* wouldn’t stop asking him on a date. Since everyone saw him bring the groceries back in (because he had strongly insisted) at least that part looked true and I was so scared because I didn’t know how to sort the whole thing out. Luckily the camera in the car had audio.Edit: I really appreciate all the advice but this was a few years ago and has been resolved. He was fired soon after for apparently something else.
I knew him for almost seven years. Over time, he went through phases of liking every single girl in our friend group. By senior year of high school, he had moved on to me. Throughout that entire time, I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in dating at all.The girls in our group saw him as a “nice guy” because he acted like he was the smartest person in the world. In reality, he treated us poorly and couldn’t understand why no one wanted to date him.When I started dating my ex, he began kicking him under the lunch table, calling him names, and making jokes that made me uncomfortable. Eventually, he stopped being friends with me and told me that if I ever changed my mind, he’d be there.After that, he started talking badly about me to anyone who would listen, claiming I had led him on. Although we were still in the same friend group, he treated me terribly, and we barely spoke.Eventually, I realized the friend group was toxic for other reasons too, so I left. I later found out he believed I left because my ex was abusing me. No one questioned him. I was safe, they just wanted to make me a damsel who couldn’t be saved by him I guess. They are all still friends so maybe he grew out of it.
One experience, a guy took my business card and stalked me on Facebook begging to take me on a date and how he always stares at me while I worked. I deleted and ignored the message request. He then came in and came up to me saying I needed to reply and go out with him. I was in a relationship at the time and he said I was lying and if I knew what was good for me, I would be with him.. cops did nothing and neither did my boss. He said that’s what he gets for being a ‘nice guy’.
Met a guy in college who I got along with really well. But I only ever saw him as a friend. One day he asks to go get coffee so we meet up at a coffee shop and he confesses his attraction to me. I’m flattered but I let him down gently saying I just see him as a good friend. He says he understands. We continue chatting and I bring up my sister. He instantly asks if I think my sister would go out with him. Like, dude…just. no.
We were teenagers, people would always hang at my place. One day I was chilling with the ladies and we were giggling over boys as girls do. Unfortunately one of the boys was “too shy to come in” and stood outside my window, listening to us talk… also when we proceeded to giggle at his unwanted advances on one of my friends. In the weeks after, I received some creepy s**t in the mail. First it was a bunch of bloody feathers, like he’d just grabbed a chicken and yanked half its skin and feathers off and then put it in our mailbox. Then a week later, a letter scrawled in creepy dark red ink about how horrible we were for laughing at a Nice Guy like him and we learned it wasn’t the first or only time he’d been hanging out outside my window, nor had it just been for a couple unlucky seconds that one time. Word got out. He was kinda shunned afterwards, he tried to invite girls to parties and promised them booze and tried to do a whole pre-fedora melady thing, but no one would ever show up. Then he went on to be a soldier stationed in Kosovo, had a couple a*****e relationships, and I kinda lost track of him from there.
He was about twice my age (I was 25ish, he was about 50) close to twice my weight (not in muscle) wasn’t active in the slightest (compared to my incredibly active lifestyle at the time) didn’t have any hobbies, I didn’t find him attractive at all, and we didn’t have anything in common but he got mad that I wouldn’t give him a chance because he was a “nice guy”.Then he spread rumors around the workplace (yes, we worked together which was also a factor in my decision to decline pursuing a relationship) that I was a mean, coldhearted b***h tease because I “flirted” with him but wouldn’t go out with him.Oh, p.s. the “flirting” he was talking about was me saying hi to him when I passed him on the factory floor.
My friend group was out dancing, and we talked to a group of men one of us knew. I met them for maybe 30 seconds, in a dark club, and went right back to dancing with my friends. One of those men asked a friend for my number, and he stalked me for 3 years. The Norwegian police took him to court, and he was still messaging me from new numbers telling me we were made for each other until he was sentenced.
Went out drinking with a girlfriend and we met up with the guy I was dating, a self proclaimed “nice guy” and a friend of his. He and his friend were acting weird and not mingling with us and it made my friend feel uncomfortable and so she decided to leave. I reassured her I would be ok with him, and later that night I ended up passing out on a couch at the bar. I woke up to him leading me outside for an uber and then he whipped out his phone and showed me all these embarrassing pictures he had taken of me while I was passed out on the couch. I was still fairly out of it but I said something groggily like “well that was creepy” and he flipped out. Told me I was a waste of time and he should’ve let me get r***d by leaving me down there. When we tried to “talk it out”, he refused to take accountability or apologize for the hurtful things he said or it not being a reflex to make sure I was ok. He kept saying “I reacted to how you treated me, im a nice guy.” And “you should trust me.” Boy bye. That was the end of that.
Hit it off with this one guy while out with friends. He was super sweet, said all the right things and we were flirting for a while. Finally I went to leave with a friend and got into her passenger seat, was thinking of maybe meeting up with him until he came to my friend’s car, banged on the window with his fists and asked “do you wanna f**k?” before I could even roll the window down. I said no, started to roll the window up and he put his fingers in it so I couldn’t. Just stood there with an angry face for a while, called me a b***h and stomped away.
My roommates and I were having a house party one evening, with maybe 40 or so friends. This one gal gets really drunk, so we put her in my bedroom and closed the door – but we checked on her periodically. When I went to check on her, one guy we knew was in bed with her trying to convince her to wake up to sleep with him. He was actually pretty nice guy, and I liked chatting/hanging with him. But, I told him to GTFO of the room and my house right now in a very serious tone. He promptly left, and that was the end of it. He eventually married another friend and had kids and seems to have had a happy life together. Very bizarre and unexpected. Glad the gal was safe, though.
Date with a local guy while I was home for the summer (living abroad) many years ago. He was nice/cute but trying a bit too hard and wanting to move really fast (I think I was 25 at the time and not imminently ready for marriage). After two dates I just wasn’t feeling it as he was love bombing me with all kinds of crazy, lavish gifts (AirPods, expensive alcohol that I liked, etc – he had some money but wasn’t crazy wealthy or anything) from the beginning. When I declined a third date, he started sending the gift packages to my mom’s house, and always included a love note about how much he liked me and how desperately he wanted me to come over to his place for dinner some time. The craziest was the last gift which included 2 concert tickets to see Bon Iver in the European city I was currently living, saying how he would fly out and come to the show with me. Needless to say I did NOT go, and the concert ironically ended up being cancelled by the artist. Guess it was never meant to be….(and he promptly blocked me on all social media after that lol
My mom forgot to pick me up from school as a junior, and it was pouring rain. My boyfriend’s friend was around and offered me a ride home. I normally would not have, but because of the freezing cold, pouring rain I chose to get in.He almost immediately started talking about how attractive I was, how my boyfriend was not a good match for me & said my boyfriend was actually secretly gay, went on about how he could treat me better. I politely turned him down, because I was trapped in a car with him and was afraid to be rude. I said I was flattered but that I really liked my boyfriend and that I am sure a very nice girl would come along for him. He flipped out on me saying I thought I was too good for him, pulled over, and made me get out of his car and walk the rest of the way home in the pouring rain.The next day at school he told everyone that I had tried to seduce him in the car and put my hands on him etc trying to do so. Said that I flipped out on him when he rebuffed me, tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, etc. Spread crazy rumors about me through the rest of the school year, periodically increasingly awful stories that were not based on anything in reality. It was exhausting.
I had a few dates, after graduation (and I can’t emphasize more) with a former human rights professor of mine. He would preach about women’s rights, gay rights like he really cared.After some suspicion from my side, I got to know that he was married! I was also young and confused about my own sexuality and that’s the main reason behind my “willingness ” to date him. He knew it and he was demanding me to join a t*******e with another former student (a woman). He was not pleased when I said no. At a certain point, I’ve had enough and ran away. Got to know that he was fired due to some misconduct, but now he’s giving interviews to a famous newspaper (back in my country) because he is really known in the human rights community. …. and everyone thinks he’s a nice guy.
I was 17, he was 2…8 i think. We’d met briefly at a festival. Ran into each other in my hometown at a festival where his bestie was banging some girl. Stuck around with me all day. Met my boyfriend. Bought me a few drinks, which I didn’t think much of (he had a very well paying job in IT). He opened up about his s****y ex. Told me he was a virgin cause girls didn’t like nice guys. Anyway. Followed me to a bar I went to after the festival where I was a regular. He started crying. Sir, this is a metalhead bar… Said I should take his virginity since I’m fat and ugly and don’t have anything better to do. I said no. He cried more. Guys at the bar were asking why I brought him there. I held his hand while he cried and put him on a cab when he stopped. A month later I was minding my business at a festival out of town when he showed up because I said I’d be there. I’d made some friends the night before and we were all sat at the same table, some pretty sexist but nice metalhead guys. He said he was a virgin and I was his only hope. He cried. They were making jokes about how I should at least give the man a b*****b. Everyone but me was 20+. I shrugged it off and said I had a boyfriend. Eventually he f****d off. (Why I was so carefree at 17 is a different story).
Had a guy follow me while I was drunk and try to get me in his truck ‘to make sure I got home safe’. I told him no thanks cuz I didn’t know him and didn’t want him knowing where I live. He yelled at me and said he’s being nice making sure I’m safe and that he’d get in his truck and follow me to make sure I got home safe . Mind you I had never met this man before. I told him I appreciate the concern but that he was making me uncomfortable. He proceeded to say he hopes something bad happens to me on my walk and that I’ll never find a nice guy because I reject them lol. I’m so glad I was drunk for that conversation cuz wtf.
Worst nice guy was a coworker, I was at a retail job. Super nice at first covered shifts for me got me snacks when I even didn’t ask for it. But then he got creepy, texting me about how I should date “good guys” like him. Waited by my car one night to “protect” me, ranted about girls ignoring him. I shut it down, but he kept messaging, calling me ungrateful. Had to switch shifts to avoid him.
He opened the door for me, pulled out my chair, and then spent the next hour explaining how women don’t actually like nice guys, they just say they do to ruin lives. Truly an honor to be part of his origin story. Fml.