20 Random Rises In Blood Pressure Only Men Will Understand

If there is one thing men understand that women never will, it’s the paralyzing embarrassment of a random boner. It remarkable it’s even possible to get an erection in these situations considering all the blood rushing to a man’s face in embarrassment. You could need a dumptruck of Viagra to have sex with your wife, but rest assured you’ll wake up one morning to company in your home, while rocking a massive hard-on. Anyway, here are some of the funniest and most ridiculous times men ever got surprise boners.

“Not mine, my bunk mate in boot woke up the first morning with a rager of one. The DI just looked at him and told him to “stand down son, we don’t salute with that.”

“Holding a weeping woman (who I was coming to realize I was in love with) during a funeral wake. I moved her to my side, but I think she knew.”

“I was 12 years old, doing a physical to get into middle school, and as she was checking for a hernia, it just popped up. I was so embarrassed and she was just like ‘its normal for your age’.”

“I fell asleep on a couch and I woke up with my step sisters sitting on both sides of me. I was full erect and wearing thin shorts. I was 16 and they were 15 and 14.”

“I was in highschool and we had swimming, I was in Speedos and walking along the edge of the pool when it decided to pitch a tent… Only this tent had no walls. In between me and my towel was a girl I liked who would have seen everything. There was no hiding it.”

“Learning tango in ballroom dancing class. And the girl I danced with kept telling me that I should get closer to her.”

“I was in 7th grade social studies class and I sat next to this girl I had a crush on. I was wearing windbreakers (bad move) and it just came up out of nowhere. 30 seconds later the teacher called on me to write on the board. I had to lie and say I didn’t do the homework, get a 0 on the assignment just to save myself from embarrassment.”

“My girlfriend’s grandma’s funeral.”

“College English class. I was called up to present some project. I tried to hide it, my mushroom tip was clearly visible to the entire class peaking its way from my belt buckle.”

“Not me, but the student presenter for the Veteran’s Day program at my high school a few years ago had a raging hard-on in front of not only the school but all of the veterans that showed up, while wearing basketball shorts.”

“Whenever I saw my Ex crying I got horny. It felt incredible wrong everytime.”

“Strapped to a gurney in a pool for a first aid demonstration surrounded by 30 people.”

“During high school basketball game. The only time I ever thought, “Please, coach, DON’T put me in.” Damn cheerleaders.”

“Age 10 to 18.”

“Bent down to pet a woman’s dog. She had nice legs. Suffice to say I couldn’t stand up right away. She probably thought, why is this guy petting my dog for so long?”

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