“During English class we were watching Tomorrow When the War Began. Those of you who have seen the movie know they start the movie talking about sex.
The teacher goes, ‘Sex is not that great, I have actually not had sex’ He’s a full 30-year-old man and says that to a bunch of 13-14 year olds.
Those were the days…”
“At least half of you will be dead by the time you reach 20 years old” to a class of 11-year-olds…”
“Freshman year in high school a classmate called someone a “chode” in gym class. The gym teacher asked him what that means and the student explained “A chode is a good student”
Next day, the teacher welcomed the class by saying “Good Morning Chodes”
Honestly, at 13/14 that’s about as funny as it gets.”
“Worst thing and also best thing. History class. Kid punches the kid in front of him in the back of the head. Teacher sees this and says, “now he’s gonna punch you in the head and your all gonna sit there and watch because there’s nothing you can do about it”.”
“His name.. “Harry Balls”. No .. really.. he was a substitute teacher who wrote his name on the board and said, ” I will give you 3 minutes to laugh, but then we gotta get to work. “”
“During one year of high school in a bio class, the students were fooling around in class not doing their work and the young (had to be in her late 20s) professor yelled “you all stop j#rking off!” Then turned red as she realized what she had just said.
You can only imagine how that went in a room full of 16-17 year olds lol.”
“The morning after parents night, boy in the class was talking over the lesson for the 100th time that term and the teacher says:
“Johnny! This is exactly what I was saying to your mum last night.”
The class burst into laughter, the teacher went red at the implication and Johnny didn’t talk over the lesson anymore.”
“She read out my name and looks at me and says, “Your parents named you this?””
“The father of a classmate died in a motorcycle accident, he went into a corner too fast and crashed into a tree.
A couple of days after the accident (which was the first day my classmate went to school again), our physics teacher decided that it is a good moment to teach the “speed doesn’t kill you, acceleration does”-lesson. With the example of a motorcycle driving into a tree.”
“New year, new teacher, and his introduction was: “If you are loud I will hit you with the chalk”.
We all thought it was very funny but the next day we learned what doom was because he never missed.”
“I had a prof that had given us an in-class assignment. He was a s@#tty teacher and we were first-year students so we didn’t finish it and he told us to take it home and finish it and when we were done to “bring to me. Bring it to daddy.” He was Greek and didn’t know the context, but he was the head of the department so we all held back our giggles and left.”
““I will be in your b#tt!”
Our band director was trying to fire us up for marching season, but he had never given a motivational speech before so he f@#ked up all the intense parts and made them mildly sexual.”
““I’ll squeeze your balls, little man!” It was an all guys highschool and the teacher was the headmaster/a catholic brother/teacher. He was saying this as a follow up to a kid acting up and being a wise @$$. He says “oh, you think acting up means you have balls?” Kid says “yeah” amd then he responds to the kid with that gem…
Everyone was weirded out and thought a line got crossed”
“I had an art teacher that got caught drinking. Apparently someone from the previous period told on her. The vice-principal came into our class and told her to come with him. We all heard her yell “they drove me to drink” from the hallway.”
“Said that all we had to do to understand a reading was to try harder.
This immediately after someone who was visually impaired told her that no accommodations had been provided, so “trying harder” was kind of out of the realm of possibility. We all lost a lot of respect for that teacher that night.”
“Teach was using an example to illustrate a concept. He was a very nice, bubbly man, we all liked him.
He points at a random student and says: “For example, Bob, imagine you’re adopted-“
About half the class cringed as they knew what Bob was about to say: “Um, I am adopted”
You could see the gears turning in the poor teacher’s mind omgohf@#k I can’t say sorry because that implies that being adopted is bad, omgohf@#k
The silence was palpable as he tried to think of something to say, he eventually just turned to another kid “….are you adopted?” “no” “Ok so, imagine Steven is adopted-” lollll poor guy”
“A student handed in a blank sheet during a test. Teacher took it and said “student’s sheet is as much a virgin as every girl in this class”. We were 13-14. He’s done other stuff that made students uncomfortable but we weren’t taken seriously.”