Ever wonder how to breech the subject of sex toys to your partner? We’ve got you covered.
When looking at sex toys for couples- it’s pretty easy to become overwhelmed by choice- and more than that, how exactly to you tell your partner that the bondage kit and gimp mask sound like a really great Friday night? Well- maybe don’t start there. Like in most things, you’ve got to learn to walk before you can run.
“I think it’s really easy for couples to get caught up in mainstream toys, and wind up side-lining what it is their own body is actually interested in.” Says a member of The Pleasure Playhouse, an online retailer that houses thousands of toys for couples and well- pretty much anyone. “Helping one another to explore your personal desires is one of the things that make committed relationships so incredibly fantastic.” The sex toy experts gave us some much-needed advice on how to bring the toys you most want, into the relationship you love.
If you’ve never owned a sex toy before, or have yet to use one in your current relationship- it’s probably unwise to start off with a massive but plug or a big purple dildo. But that’s pretty obvious. What you may not realize, is that if it’s your first run with toys for couples, you don’t need one that will break the bank or is all bells and whistles. Simple, small, easy to use and easy to clean are always the best toys to start with.
This way you can more easily figure out which types of toys will integrate into your relationship best. Small vibrators are a great place to start, they’re not too flashy and you can find a decent one without paying out the nose for it. They’re also a super relatable type of toy for anyone who has never used toys before. Excellent little multi-tankers, vibrators can be used on him, her, or they. Nearly everyone has a sweet spot that could benefit from some sweet vibrations.
Once you and your partner get comfortable integrating small and simple toys, exploring which erogenous zones are your favorites to stimulate, then you can start looking at the big guns. Speciality designed toys, made for specific purposes- are often expensive, but a worthy investment if that’s what you’re into. Getting a good quality specialty toy means they will last virtually forever, as long as you clean and store them properly. So start small (both size and price) and work your way up to the big leagues.
Sexuality is incredibly multifaceted. There are so many different ways to be interested in sex, nothing is more important than being open to discussing your own desires, as well as listening to your partners. That being said, sexuality also comes with some serious stigma for most people, and can be really difficult to discuss openly. Just keep gently trying to push the conversation forward and accepting your partner’s boundaries while also sticking to your own.
Remember that enjoying, or being curious about sex toys is a perfectly normal thing. It’s healthy to explore your desire in any way that doesn’t bring harm to yourself or someone else. People all over the world are into some pretty kinky stuff, and that’s great! If it seems like something you might be into, discuss it with your partner first, then explore the subject together. That way you’re both at an even level. If you’re a veteran of smutty pastimes- also awesome! Use your knowledge to guide your partner through any questions or concerns they may have.
It’s always important to remember that when it comes to toys for couples- there are in fact, two of you. So, remember to listen well to what your partner is saying. Be patient and open- because again, sex is a hard subject to broach for a lot of people. Make sure you have a really good understanding of your partner’s desires and always keep an open line of communication while you’re trying new things. Yes- like in the middle of a Shibari session, or using a strap on for the first time- keep talking! Tell each other how things feel and don’t be afraid to give some pointers along with your kudos.
Also remember that you have needs and feelings as well- so communicate those to your partner and make sure they understand where you are coming from as well. Jump online together and browse for a couple’s sex toy that looks like fun for both of you! Giving and taking both have their own benefits, so be excited about the roles you both plan on taking. Respect each other, respect yourself, and find a really good toy for you both. Can’t go wrong with that.