You Gotta Be Strong To Survive Marriage

“I like to torture my wife by sending her pics of cups that are too close to the edge of tables.”

“What 55 years of marriage looks like: She sits by and laughs as he tells another story about farting.”

“When the perfume you bought your wife for Christmas ends up in the toilet as ’air freshener.’”

“My wife got me a new cutting board!”

“This is how my dad labeled the box with my mom’s wedding dress in it…”

“Asked wife to write a small list for the grocery store. She’s not wrong.”

“Came back home to find that my wife had been busy with pranks.”

“Wife put this over the bathroom door.”

“Woke up this morning to find Jeff Goldblum staring at me in the dim morning light.”

“He got her a pet painting kit.”

“He said he found a Snickers with her name on it.”

“So kind of her.”

“Wife: Don’t you want to see a fit man when you look in the mirror? Husband:”

“My wife’s boss and her husband make quince paste every year.”

“Somebody’s significant other is going to be very surprised to get vanilla pudding instead of mayo.”

“Left this for my wife for stealing my chocolates the other day.”

“Wife pulled a pregnancy prank using the test from their last child.”

“30 minutes of arguing later and a marriage is saved.”

“Husband was in a hurry, asked me to prepare his sweater. So I did.”

“My husband asked me to not put the matching pillowcase on his side when I changed the sheets. No problem.”

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