Stupid

"Hand sharpener right next to an emergency button that immediately calls the local police department and sends the principal to our classroom. It’s been hit about 3 times this marking period"

“This is how they sliced our pizza.”

“My partner and I just bought a Lego storage box from the Lego company, and it has a crevasse where small legos get stuck.”

"My brother has PhDs in bioengineering. We were on a call one day and he was saying "i can't find my phone. Probably my kids took it." Didn't realize until i told him that he was using his phone to talk to me."

"Guess who thought the soy sauce was syrup this morning :/"

“Bought a frozen pizza at the discount store.”

"Ordered A Body Pillow Got A Wrist Rest Instead. I'm About 7.5 Bananas Tall"